Showing posts with label Jokes. Show all posts
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A Boy went to his 
Dad’s Friend’s home 
late night. 
Uncle offered him to 
Sleep in Baby’s room. 
Boy refused coz the 
Baby might Cry at Night 
and went to sleep in 
the lounge. 
Next morning he saw a Beautiful Girl at the breakfast table., 
BOY : Who are you.? 

GIRL : I am Baby and 
You.?? 

BOY : I am a Stupid.!!



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Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? 

Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding. 

Woman: Oh, I see. 

Officer: Can I see your license please? 

Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one. 

Officer: Don't have one? 

Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving. 

Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please. 

Woman: I can't do that. 

Officer: Why not? 

Woman: I stole this car. 

Officer: Stole it? 

Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner. 

Officer: You what? 

Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see. 

The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun. 

Sargent: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! 

The woman steps out of her vehicle. 

Woman: Is there a problem sir? 

Sargent: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner. 

Woman: Murdered the owner? 

Sargent: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please. 

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk. 

Sargent: Is this your car, ma'am? 

Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. 

The first officer is stunned. 

Sargent: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license. 

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled. 

Sargent: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner. 

Woman: I bet the bastard will say I was speeding too.



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A Boy went to his 
Dad’s Friend’s home 
late night. 
Uncle offered him to 
Sleep in Baby’s room. 
Boy refused coz the 
Baby might Cry at Night 
and went to sleep in 
the lounge. 
Next morning he saw a Beautiful Girl at the breakfast table., 
BOY : Who are you.? 

GIRL : I am Baby and 
You.?? 

BOY : I am a Stupid.!!



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Super insults 😂😄😜😛😝😂😂😂 

Smart answer by a female... 

On a flight, a guy asked a beautiful lady sitting next to him... 

'Nice perfume.....which one is it?... 
I want to gift it to my wife..!!' 

Lady 
'Don't give her....some idiot will find an excuse to talk to her..!!' 
😜😜😜 

A letter from a teacher to a parent: 

Dear Parent, 
Kumar doesn't smell nice in class. Please try to bath him. 

Parent's answer: 
Dear Teacher, Kumar is not a rose, Don't smell him,Teach him...... 
😂😂😂 
😝😝😝😝😝😝 
.................................. 

Mother to Son: 
Who is Aziz Sultan ? 
Son : Don't know 😏 
Mother : Sometime give attention to study also 
Son to Mother : Do you know Chinky Aunty ? 
Mother : Don't know 
Son: Sometimes give attention to Dad also 
😝😜😜😜😜😜😜😜 
.......................................... 

A cute excuse: 
Teacher- why are you late? 
Student- Mom & dad were fighting. 
Teacher- so what makes U late if dey were fighting? 
Student- one shoe was in mom's hand and one in dad's.. 
😂😂😝😜 

🎉💐🍻🎭🎷🌾🌾💃😃😜😜😜😂😂 

Wife : I hate that beggar. 
Husband : Why ? 
Wife : Rascal, yesterday 
I gave him food today he gave me a book 
How to Cook !!! 😄😃😜😝 
👌😂😜😃😄 

Husband came home drunk. To avoid wife's scolding, he took a laptop & started working. 

Wife: did u drink????? 
Husband : no 

Wife: Idiot then why are you typing on suitcase 
😜😂😝🍻👍 



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1.) Money is not Everything.. There is also Amex, visa and master cards..

2.) One should Love animals They are too tasty....

3.) Save water...Instead drink on the Rocks...

4.) Fruit, Salad and green vegetables are healthy..Leave them for the sick..

5.) Books are Holy..Don't touch them..

6.) Don't shout in office..It disturbs those who are sleeping...

7.) Love thy neighbors.. But don't get caught

8.) Hard work never killed anyone..But why take Chances..?

9) Why do something today when...it can be done tomorrow by someone else

10.) Everyone should Marry.. after all... Happiness is not only thing in Life..


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Funny Hilarious Joke




There is a great relation between a watch & a wife... Wanna know how:
Here you go:
1. A watch does 24 hours: tik tik tik... And a wife does 24 hours kit kit kit..

2. Watch's sticks come to same point after having round so wife does. She comes to same point after you make her understand and force you to go with her understanding.

3. If watch goes faulty, it goes to mechanic shop but watch goes wrong, it goes to mom's home..

4. You need cells to charge watch and you need to salary to charge the wife.

5. When its 12 in the watch, all sticks are one but when it 12 hour with wife, she looks like 3..

6. There is fix time when watch gives alarm but there is no fix time of wife's alarm.

7. When watch has a problem, it stops but when wife has a problem, she starts..

8. The bid difference is whenever you want you can change the watch but you can't change the wife.



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Old saying: Whenever you awake, that is morning..
New saying: Whenever you awake, you are online..

Wife to her friend: I tried to be good wife for few days.. I did everything to be cool with my hubby.. 
But after one week I fought with hubby..
God promise.. now I am feeling much better and relaxed..... and now I came to know that real satisfaction comes only when I do fight with him...

Man: I always feel so tired.. I always get sleep and even after sleeping many hours, I again feel to have more sleep.
Dr.: Ok, which phone do you use?
Man: Very basic phone..
Dr. Ah.... Please buy a smart phone.. May be Android or Apple.. Install social media apps and than you will be busy always.. You will not get sleep so easy because there is always something bothering you... Cheers..

Wife returns from market...
Husband says: My guess, you must be bringing something to eat in this box..
Wife: Oh my dear.. You are absolutely right.. I have my sleepers for you to...

Do remember that Love is blind but ALSO remember that your parents and neighbors are NOT...

Dear Friend: which phone gives the best battery back up?
Me: you can better take advise from that person who awakes whole night while talking to her girlfriend. He is the right person.

3 things never stay for long:
1- Body building with POWDER and supplements
2- Money from selling land
3- Setting girl from social media. LOL


Wife: You are abusing me while sleeping...
Husband: No, you must be having some misunderstanding..
Wife: No, what misunderstanding?
Husband: I was awake.. :))))

Jack: What is marriage?
John: Marriage is such a forest where brave lions are hunted by beautiful deers..



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I did fall--
She laughed...
I replied: I didn't fall - floor just needed a HUG.

Mom: Did you read any book in last two months?
Me: Mom, I did go through Facebook, does it count?

Sometimes.....
behind every smile....
There.....
is...
a..................
Joke :)
Which you never understand... LOL

Teacher to another teacher - he failed the exam..
me to my friend: she failed to teach me..

Husband: Today, onward, I will spend no time on social media and spend all time with wife and kids..
Wife: And you will share you so bad jokes? NO WAY.. please...


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When min stops working?
Men's mind work perfectly all the times...but it stops working only 2 critical times..
Me: When?
Man: 5 minute before exam and while choosing a girl..


Will you DANCE?
In a marriage function, boy said to a girl: will you dance?
Girl: Ahh, Ok, yes
Boy, then please stand up, I need a chair..

Girl's status
I do lots of worship and good work..
But I am afraid if I become a goddess so that I why I go illegal sometimes...

Why did you make me married?
Son: Dad, why you have forced me for marriage?
Dad: You don't know?
Son: No, please tell..
Dad: 25 years I have cleaned dishes alone but Now with you...

On you head
Man while wedding to priest: Sir, on while side I should ask my bride to sit, left or right?
Priest: Anywhere son, because ultimately she will sit on your head all the life..

Why you are here?
Girl sees her ex lover on her marriage, rushes towards him and asks: Why are you here, I am getting married tomorrow..
Boy: Catering and other arrangement are being ordered to me.. What do you want, should I stop eating/working??

Daughter to dad
Dad, one boy has made my life miserable. He makes me uncomfortable everywhere
Dad: So how do you want to punish him?
Daughter: By getting married with him...

Today's kids
Teacher: Why you did not come to school yesterday
Kid: The kids who came yesterday gonna get great JOB?

Face difficulties with smile
Wife came back from her father's home
Husband opens door and starts laughing so loud..
Wife: Why are you laughing like thins?
Husband: I have been taught that whenever difficulty comes, welcome with smile..



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Pudichavangaluku anuppu😊
& see wht dey want frm U👈🏻😃

⚜ 1- Kammiya pesu🙊
⚜ 2- Knjm siri😀
⚜ 3- Adhigama pesadha🗣🚫
⚜ 4- Free ah iru🤗
⚜ 5- Adhigama velila suthadha🏍❌
⚜ 6- Phone pannite iru📲
⚜ 7- Chnge ur nature👍🏻
⚜ 8- Ipdiye sweet ah iru😍😋
⚜ 9- Kovatha kammi panniko😠🙅🏻
⚜ 10- Iam w8ing 4 ur propzal😘💑
⚜ 11- Eppavum naughty ah iru🤓😜
⚜ 12- Sagum varakim enkoodave iru☹🙂
⚜ 13- Enaku unna rommmmmba pudikum☺😘
⚜ 14- Enna vittu poiradha plzz😭🙏🏻

W8ing 4 ur rply.....✍🏻🙇🏻 for all my friends



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Enmela unaku ethavathu kovam na enkitta sollu pinnadi pesatha gud bye..            









Unnakku enmala edhuachu kovam Na enn munnadi sollu enn pinnadi poi sollra ena romba hurt panita good bye.....
Got  shocked  na?
this is simply a frndshp msg..😘

1. No rply🙃- i m nthing to u

2.yenna achu😳- nanbanda....

3. Na enga sonnaen- silent crush on u

4.Call😒- u luv me

5. Who told to u😠 - u luv me alot

6.loosu😠 - miss u

7. Dai - i like u lot

8. Yenna da  un loverku anuparatha yenaku anupita- nanbenda..

9.Mathi anupitaya - unna mathiri frd yenaku yarume illa

Now  play  with  ur  frndz  i  had  good  response  from  all u  guys 😉
its  total  fun believe  me...
😝😝😉😂😂😂
☺😉😀😀



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Teacher: What is the difference between Song and lecture?
Student: When other women say something, it feels like a sweet song. Her voice attacks on our heart. So nice.. AND when our own wife says something - Ahh.. It is a lecturer..
NEXT DAY - Teacher gave the student a good treat for having such a deep knowledge --:) :) :)

Man: My wife is missing..
Postman: This is post office NOT police station..
Man: I am really sorry - out of happiness - I am confused and do not understand where to go..


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Do you know the difference between the US and yogurt? . . . . . . . . . . .
Well, yes - If you leave yogurt alone for 300 years, it develops a culture.


Boy: I fall in love in love with a nice Girl..!!
Girl: Good!! Who is she?
Boy: She is your shadow.. and looks a bit like you....
Girl: Awwww!! Is it me?
Boy: No, Your sister..

Boy: I hate to see a girl standing in a bus when I am comfortably seated.
Girl: So what do you do?
Boy:I close my eyes and sleep.

Seems like you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?
Yes you are right.. but I married the wrong woman.

Q: What's the difference between a knife and a woman arguing? .

Well , a knife has a point.

What do you call a french man killed defending his country? 
I don't know either, its never happened!

Spouse:what will you give me if i arrived the top of mountain? 
Hubby: A little push


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An old lady always gave the bus conductor Cashew nuts, Almonds to eat.
Conductor: "So kind of u that you give me those nuts to eat everyday.
Why don't you eat them yourself?"
Old Lady: "I don't have teeth to munch them.
"Conductor: "Then why did you buy them?"
Old Lady: "I just love the chocolate around them!"
😝😝😝😝😝😝😝
Dont laugh alone pass it on.....👹👹



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MASTER PIECE COMEDY😜

Husband & his wife went for Divorce at court.
Judge : U have 3 kids...How will u divide them?
He had long discussion with his wife & said " Ok, sir We will come next year with 1 more kid" 😂😂

Joke doesn't end here....
9 months later....They got twins😜😝



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*Laugh at this* :

An Indian Doctor can't find a job in a Hospital in US so he opens a clinic and puts a sign outside 'GET TREATMENT FOR $20 - IF NOT CURED GET BACK $100

A American lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic...

*Lawyer* :  "I have lost my sense of taste"

*Indian doctor* :  "Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 22 and put 3 drops in patient's mouth"

*Lawyer* :  "Ugh..this is kerosene"

*Indian doctor* :  "Congrats, your sense of taste is restored. Give me $20"

The annoyed lawyer goes back after a few days to recover his money...

*Lawyer* :  "I have lost my memory. I cannot remember anything"

*Indian doctor* :  "Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 22 and put 3 drops in his mouth"

*Lawyer (annoyed)* :  "This is kerosene. You gave this to me last time for restoring my taste"

*Indian doctor* : "Congrats. You got your memory back. Give me $20"

The fuming lawyer pays him, and then comes back a week later determined to get back $100.

*Lawyer* :  "My eyesight has become very weak I can't see at all "

*Indian doctor* :  "Well, I don't have any medicine for that, so take this $100"

*Lawyer (staring at the note)* : "But this is $20, not $100"

*Indian doctor* :  "Congrats, your eyesight is restored. Give me $20"

*You can't beat  Indians* !!!!! 😂😂😂😂😂

Don't know who wrote this.. Hats off to him......



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A newly married couple were walking through a garden, suddenly a dog ran towards them.

They both knew it will bite them..

The husband lifted his wife and let the dog bite him rather than his sweetheart

The dog stopped before them, unsure what to do, barked a little while and ran away.

The husband put his wife down, expecting a hug and a few kind words of gratitude from her.

But his wife shouted
"I have seen people throwing stones and sticks at dogs, this is the first time I am seeing someone trying to throw his wife at a dog"!!

Husband...   "😱😱😱😱"

Moral : A Wife is a Wife

No One ELSE Can
MIS-UNDERSTAND a
Husband Better,
than a Wife.
😀😃😃😃😃☺☺☺☺☺😘😘😘😘🌹



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An old lady always gave the bus conductor Cashew nuts, Almonds to eat.
Conductor: "So kind of u that you give me those nuts to eat everyday.
Why don't you eat them yourself?"
Old Lady: "I don't have teeth to munch them.
"Conductor: "Then why did you buy them?"
Old Lady: "I just love the chocolate around them!"
😝😝😝😝😝😝😝
Dont laugh alone pass it on.....👹👹



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Teacher - Can you please tell the name of 2 great Kings who have brought happiness & peace into people's lives ?”

Student :

“Smo-king & Drin-king ” !!!

Teacher Resigned !😂😂😇😇

Teacher: Who was Akbar ?  
Boy: Akbar was Gay. 

Teacher:- What, Are you mad ? Why did you say that? 

Boy:- We have heard Laila - Majnu, Romeo-Juliet  
But Only 
Akbar - Birbal !
Teacher died😂😂😂

Last one.....

Teacher : students.. On britannia tiger biscuit cover,there is a green dot. Wat does that mean?

Student : tiger is online.. .😂😂



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😩 42°+ temperature in many places.... some one wrote to Sun...

Dear Sun,

Please go to settings>display>brightness and lower your brightness! Please, its too hot to handle!

🌞 Sun's reply...

I have not changed any settings. Please go to your settings and...

1. Increase number of trees...
2. Reduce carbon emissions levels...
3. Reduce concrete jungles...
4. Increase number of lakes...

Basically, switch to
"Human Mode"
from auto mode...!!!

Please share....



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