Showing posts with label Stories. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Stories. Show all posts




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First-year students at Medical College were attending their first Anatomy class, with a real dead pig. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a White sheet.


The professor started the class by telling them, 'In Veterinary Medicine, it is necessary to have two important qualities as a Doctor: The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the Animal body'. For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, touched his finger in the mouth of the dead pig, withdrew it and put his Finger in his mouth. 'Go ahead and do the same thing,' he told his students.

The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes. But eventually took turns putting their finger in the mouth of the dead pig and tasted in their mouth.
A Thought-Provoking Story on Life is Tough, But It's a Lot Tougher When You're Stupid - 1001proways.blogspot.com

When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and said, 'The Second most important quality is "observation" .

I touched with my middle Finger and tasted on my index finger. Now, learn to pay attention… .....
"Life is tough, but it's a lot tougher when you're stupid"



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First-year students at Medical College were attending their first Anatomy class, with a real dead pig. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a White sheet.


The professor started the class by telling them, 'In Veterinary Medicine, it is necessary to have two important qualities as a Doctor: The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the Animal body'. For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, touched his finger in the mouth of the dead pig, withdrew it and put his Finger in his mouth. 'Go ahead and do the same thing,' he told his students.

The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes. But eventually took turns putting their finger in the mouth of the dead pig and tasted in their mouth.
A Thought-Provoking Story on Life is Tough, But It's a Lot Tougher When You're Stupid - 1001proways.blogspot.com

When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and said, 'The Second most important quality is "observation" .

I touched with my middle Finger and tasted on my index finger. Now, learn to pay attention… .....
"Life is tough, but it's a lot tougher when you're stupid"



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Once upon a time, there was a software engineer who used to develop programs on his Pentium machine, sitting under a tree on the banks of a river. He used to earn his bread by selling those programs in the Sunday market.

One day, while he was working, his machine tumbled off the table and fell in the river. Encouraged by the Panchatantra story of his childhood (the woodcutter and the axe ), He started praying to the River Goddess.

The River Goddess wanted to test him and so appeared only after one month of rigorous prayers. The engineer told her that he had lost his computer in the river. As usual, the Goddess wanted to test his honesty.

A Modern Panchtantra Story about the Honest Software Engineer - 1001proways.blogspot.com

She showed him a match box and asked, " Is this your computer ?" Disappointed by the Goddess' lack of computer awareness, the engineer replied, " No." She next showed him a pocket-sized calculator and asked if that was his. Annoyed, the engineer said "No, not at all!!"Finally, she came up with his own Pentium machine and asked if it was his. The engineer, left with no option, sighed and said" Yes.

"The River Goddess was happy with his honesty. She was about to give Him all three items, but before she could make the offer, the engineer Asked her, "Don't you know that you're supposed to show me some better computers before bringing up my own ?"

The River Goddess, angered at this, replied, "I know that, you stupid donkey! The first two things I showed you were the Trillennium and the Billennium, the latest computers from IBM !". So saying, she disappeared with the Pentium!!

Moral :If you're not up-to-date with technology trends , it's better to keep your mouth shut and let people think you're a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.



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One day, at a bus stop there is a girl wearing a tight miniskirt. When the bus arrives and its her turn to get on, she realizes that her skirt is so tight she couldn't get her foot high enough to reach to step. Thinking it will give her enough slack to raise her leg, she reaches back and unzipped her skirt a little.

She still could not reach the step. Embarrassed, she reaches back once again to unzip it a little more.

Still, she couldn't reach the step. So, with her skirt zipper halfway down, she reaches back and unzips her skirt all the way. Thinking that she could get on the step now, she lifts up her leg only to realize that she still couldn't reach the step.

A funny unzipping story of a girl and a boy 1001proways.blogspot.com
So, seeing how embarrassed the girl is, the man standing behind her put his hands around her waist and lifts her up on to the first step of the bus. The girl turns round furiously and says, "How dare you touch my body that way, I don't even know you!"


The man replies "Well, ma'am, after you reached around and unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we were friends."



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A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race appear?"
The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children and then all mankind was made."
Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.

 

A Funny Story on How Did the Human Race Appear on the Earth 1001proways.blogspot.com
The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved."
The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?"
The mother answered,

"Well, dear, it's very simple: I told you about my side of the family, and your father told you about his."



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Here are the reasons Why Newton Committed Suicide.....
Once, Newton came to India and watched a few Tamil movies that had his head spinning. He was convinced that all his logic and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk and apologized for everything he had done.
In the movie of Rajanikanth, Newton was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid.
Here are a few scenes
1) Rajanikanth has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can't be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Rajanikanth is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured! Long Live Rajanikanth!

Funny Reasons for Why Newton Committed Suicide - 1001proways.blogspot.com
2) In another movie, Rajanikanth is confronted with 3 gangsters. Rajinikanth has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife. Guess, what he does? He throws the knife at the middle gangster? & shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces, which kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one.


3) Rajanikanth is chased by a gangster. Rajinikanth has a revolver but no bullets in it. Guess, what he does. Nah? not even in your remotest imaginations. He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Rajinikanth opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun. Bang... the gangster dies...
This was too much for our Newton to take! He was completely shaken and decided to go back. But he happened to see another movie for one last time, and thought that at least one movie would follow his theory of physics. The whole movie goes fine and Newton is happy that all in the world hasn't changed. Oops, not so fast!


The 'climax' finally arrives. Rajanikanth gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that Rajanikanth can't jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use. Rajanikanth has to desperately kill the villain because it's the climax. (Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible?) Rajanikanth suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets. He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached above the height of the wall, he uses the second gun and shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air. The first gun fires off and the villain is dead.


Newton commits suicide...



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An American on a business trip thinks of calling his wife. He dials his residence number from the hotel phone.
American: Hello!
Reply: Hello!
American smirks as it is an unfamiliar male Voice. He asks: Who's this?
Reply: Sir, I'm servant of this house!
American: (Surprised!) Where did you come from?
Servant: Madam kept me here, yesterday.
American: Ok, go and call madam!
Servant: She's sleeping with sir and told me not to disturb.

 

Vastreader.blogspot.com304

 


American turns red and wild with anger. He screams into the phone,

"Listen you bloody servant, listen to me. I'm the real owner of the house you're standing in".


Servant: Then who's the one here?
American: Not sure who that f**king b@st@rd is. Do one thing for me and I'll pay you $50,000 once I'm back. Go and get the gun which is hanging in the drawing room.
After a few seconds servant is back...
Servant: Sir, I got the gun!
American: And just around there in the drawers should be the bullets, take them and load into the gun.
After a minute...
Servant: It's ready now.
American: Good! Now get into the room and shoot both of them.
After a minute...
Servant: Sir, I shot both of them, what do I do with the dead bodies?
American: Just dig a hole into the garden and bury both of them in it.
Servant: Paused for a min! This is the 50th floor, there's no garden here!
American man: Paused for a min!

“Ooooops, sorry - wrong number!”



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A little boy wanted $5 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened. Finally he decided to write God a letter requesting the $5.

When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, India, they decided to forward it to the Finance Minister of India as a joke.

The Finance Minister was so amused, that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy $2.
The Finance Minister thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy, and he did not want to spoil the kid.

A funny story about tax for god's gift 1001proways.blogspot.com 
The little boy was delighted with $2, and decided to write a thank you note to God, which read:


"Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money.However, I noticed that you sent it through the Finance Minister in Delhi, and those donkeys deducted $3 in taxes."



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Funny Love Story: Insufficient Balance for Sending Message:


A boy loved a Girl but never proposed to her.
One day he decided to tell her at 1:00 a.m at Night.
He type:
"I LOVE YOU"
And sent it, after a few seconds, he got a message but he
decided to see it the Next day for surprise and slept.

A Funny Love Story about Insufficient Balance for Sending Love Message- 1001proways.blogspot.com
Funny Love Story: Insufficient Balance for Sending Message
 
Next day, he read the message and become so shocked because
It was written:
Dear customer, message sending failed due do insufficient balance.
Please recharge your Account........


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A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work.
Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly , sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.
The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet , not realizing that the little boy is in there already.
The little boy says , "Dark in here."
The man says , "Yes , it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball."
Man - "That's nice."
Boy - "Want to buy it?"
Man - "No , thanks."
Boy - "My dad's outside."
Man - "OK , how much?"
Boy - "$150"
Man - "Sold."

 

Vastreader.blogspot.com043


In the next few weeks , it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.
Boy - "Dark in here."
Man - "Yes , it is."
Boy - "I have a Wilson infielder's glove."
The lover , remembering the last time , asks the boy , "How much?"
Boy - "$350"
Man - "Highway robbery. Sold."
A few days later , the father says to the boy , "Grab your gloves , let's go outside and have a game of catch."
The boy says , "I can't , I sold my ball and my glove."
The father asks , "How much did you sell them for?"
The boy says , "$500"
The father says , "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that... That is way more than those two things cost.
I'm going to take you to church and make you confess your greed."
They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says , "Dark in here."
The priest says , "Don't start that shit again , you're in my closet now



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A Man checked into a hotel.
There was a computer in his room,
so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife.
However, he accidentally typed wrong e-mail address,
and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile… somewhere, a widow had just returned home from her husband’s funeral.
The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends.
After reading the first message, she fainted.

 

Vastreader.blogspot.com101


The widow’s son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor,
and saw the computer screen which read:


To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I’ve Reached Safely
Date: 21 st July, 2004


I know you’re surprised to hear from me.
They have computers here now, and we are allowed to send e-mails to our loved ones
I’ve just reached safely and have been checked in.
I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow
Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was …



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One day a fisherman got up very early in the morning.
There was not enough sunlight to get into the sea.
He saw a pack of stones to pass time.
He started throwing the stone into the sea.

 

Vastreader.blogspot.com056

 


While having the last stone in the hand, the sun came up then he saw that the stone was a diamond and all the stones he threw were diamonds as well.
He felt for his misfortune of throwing all of
them into the sea…


MORAL OF THE STORY:
"Do not get up early in the morning."



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5 Friends lived in a room, namely:
1. Mad
2. Brain
3. Fool
4. Somebody and
5. Nobody.


One day, somebody killed nobody. That time, brain is in bath room. Mad called the police.
mad : is this police station?
police : yes, what's the matter?
mad : somebody killed nobody
police : what ? are you mad?
mad:yes, I am mad.

  Vastreader.blogspot.com0492


police : don't you have brain?
mad : brain is in bathroom.
police : are you a fool?
mad : no sir, fool is reading this Funny Crime Story.....

How is it?



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Me: God, can I ask You a question?
God: Sure
Me: Promise You won't get mad
... ... ... ...
God: I promise
Me: Why did You let so much stuff happen to me today?
God: What do you mean?
Me: Well, I woke up late
God: Yes
Me: My car took forever to start
God: Okay
Me: at lunch they made my sandwich wrong & I had to wait
God: Huummm
Me: On the way home, my phone went DEAD, just as I picked up a call
God: All right
Me: And on top of it all off, when I got home ~I just want to soak my feet in my new foot massager & relax. BUT it wouldn't work!!! Nothing went right today! Why did You do that?
God: Let me see, the death angel was at your bed this morning & I had to send one
of My Angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that
Me (humbled): OH

Vastreader.blogspot.com0033

GOD: I didn't let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that would have hit you if you were on the road.
Me: (ashamed)
God: The first person who made your sandwich today was sick & I didn't want you to catch what they have, I knew you couldn't afford to miss work.
Me (embarrassed):Okay
God: Your phone went dead because the person that was calling was going to give false witness about what you said on that call, I didn't even let you talk to them so you would be covered.
Me (softly): I see God
God: Oh and that foot massager, it had a shortage that was going to throw out all of the power in your house tonight. I didn't think you wanted to be in the dark.
Me: I'm Sorry God
God: Don't be sorry, just learn to Trust Me.... in All things , the Good & the bad.
Me: I will trust You.
God: And don't doubt that My plan for your day is Always Better than your plan.
Me: I won't God. And let me just tell you God, Thank You for Everything today.
God: You're welcome child. It was just another day being your God and I Love looking after My Children...

Tagged in:
God, God's Plan, Life, Mistakes, Trust in God, Trust, God's Plan are Great.


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One day, a rich dad took his son on a trip. He wanted to show him how poor someone can be. They spent time on the farm of a poor family. On the way home, Dad asked his son,"Did you see how poor they are and what did you learn?"


Son said..."We have one dog, they have four. We have a pool, they have rivers. We have lanterns at night, they have stars. We buy food, they grow theirs. We have walls to protect us, they have friends. We have encyclopedias, they have temples."

One day, a rich dad took his son on a trip. He wanted to show him how poor someone can be. They spent time on the farm of a poor family. On the way home, Dad asked his son,"Did you see how poor they are and what did you learn?"
Funny Story: Money Does not Make You Rich

Then he headed:"Thanks dad for showing me how poor we are."


MORAL: “Money does not make you rich.”

Tagged in: Money, Rich, Funny Story, Poor, Life, Wealth, Selected Stories
<html>
<title>
</title>
<body><a href="vastreader.blogspot.com" target="_blank">Vastreader.blogpsot.com</a> 
</body>
</html>



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A lion woke up one morning feeling really rowdy and mean.

He went out and cornered a small monkey and roared, "Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?"
The trembling monkey says, "You are, mighty lion!
"Later, the lion confronts a wildebeest and fiercely bellows, "Who is the mightiest of all jungle animals?"
The terrified wild beast stammers, "Oh great lion, you are by far the mightiest animal in the jungle!"

A Funny story about who is the mightiest in the forest 1001proways.blogspot.com

 

On a roll now, the lion swaggers up to an elephant and roars, "Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?"
Fast as lightning, the elephant snatches up the lion with his trunk, slams him against a tree half a dozen times.

The lion feeling like it would been run over by a safari wagon. The elephant then stomped on the lion till it looked like a corn tortilla and ambled away.


The lion let out a moan of pain, lifted his head weakly and hollered after the elephant,

"Just because you do not know the answer, you do not have to get so mad."



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A wonderful short story :: How Can We Be Happy? (Must Read)


Once a group of 50 people was attending a seminar.
Suddenly the speaker stopped and decided to do a group activity. He started giving each one a balloon. Each one was asked to write his/her name on it using a marker pen. Then all the balloons were collected and put in another room.

Now these delegates were let in that room and asked to find the balloon which had their name written, within 5 minutes. Everyone was frantically searching for their name, colliding with each other, pushing around others and there was utter chaos.

At the end of 5 minutes no one could find their own balloon.
Now each one was asked to randomly collect a balloon and give it to the person whose name was written on it.
Within minutes everyone had their own balloon.

The speaker began— exactly this is happening in our lives. Everyone is frantically looking for happiness all around, not knowing where it is.

Our happiness lies in the happiness of other people. Give them their happiness; you will get your own happiness.
And this is the purpose of human life.

Is this not what you are looking for?
 Thank for reading this post. Please, share with your friends on social networks. Type your doubts and opinion on the comment box. Thank you!!!


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WAITING FOR GOD TO COME(God hidden in others)

Once, God promised an elderly lady that he would visit her that day. Naturally she was a bit proud about that.  She scrubbed and cleaned and polished and dusted and put everything in order. And then she sat down and waited for God to come.
Suddenly someone knocked at the door. In a hurry, she raced to the door, hastily pulled it open and what did she see but just a poor beggar standing outside. “No, not today; for heaven’s sake get along with you.  I’m waiting for God to come any minute now, I can’t be
bothered with you.” So she sent the beggar of and closed the door behind him. 
After a while there was another knock. This time the lady opened even faster than before.  But what did she see sanding outside? Just some poor old man. “I’m waiting for the good Lord to come.  Sorry, I can’t take care of you today,” With that she slammed the door in his face.
Quite a bit later someone again knocked at the door. She opened it and who stood there but another ragged and hungry beggar, who kept pleading for a bit of bread and roof over his head for the night. “Oh, leave me alone I’m waiting for the good Lord! I cannot take you in.” And so the beggar had to move on; and the old lady sat down to wait again.
The hours passed by and soon evening was coming on, but there was still no sign of God.  The lady became a bit concerned.  Where could he be?
Finally, she went to bed with a heavy hear,.  She fell asleep and dreamed that the good  Lord had come o her and said, “I came to you three times today and all three times you threw me out.”
From now on everyone who hears his story never sends anyone away from their door. For they just don’t know who it actually is standing there.  Who would want to send the good Lord away?




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WE’RE PERSONAL BEFORE GOD
A traveler in southern Russia before the Second World War, was taken to see a humble old woman in a little cottage.  The old lady asked the visitor if she was by any chance going to Moscow. The traveler said she was.  “Then” asked the woman, “Would you mind delivering a parcel of home-made toffee to my son? He cannot get anything like it in Moscow.”
Her son’s name was Josef Salin.  We do not normally think of him, who was once a dictator of all /Russia, as a man who liked toffee. But his mother did! For her, the labels of greatness did not count.




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A Woman's Place

There is a cute story told about the Governor of Texas, then Mark White.
Governor White and his wife were driving through the open Texas countryside one day, out for a relaxing drive and talk
The couple happened to be around the area where Mrs. White grew up, and as they pulled into a gas station to fuel up and check out the car, Mark noticed a little nervousness with his wife. He didn't say anything, but when the gas station attendant came out to their car, Mark began to notice what was really going on. Both his wife and the attendant looked surprised to see each other, and they acted with that awkwardness that two people have when they've been close in the past, but weren't anymore.
Governor White pretended not to notice this. They finished at the gas station and continued back down the highway. The car fell silent and neither said a word. For a long time they remained silent, and all the while Mrs. White kept looking out the window, staring off out into the distance. Mark was considerate and patient with this silence, and he continued to drive in the silence. But after the silence had gone on for almost an hour, he interrupted, trying to break the silence.
"Honey, I couldn't help but notice how you and that gas station attendant looked at each other. You were involved with each other at one point, weren't you," he asked ?
"Well, yea," She responded, quitely.
"Well, I guess I know how you feel. You were probably thinking about that and needed some space, right," he continued ?
"Yea," she said again.
"I guess you were probably thinking about how different your two lives had become. I guess you were thinking that if you had married him, then you'd be the wife of a gas station attendant now, instead of my wife. Right," he said ?
"Well, No. Actually I was thinking that he'd be the governor now."




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