Showing posts with the label Jokes

Really Funny Jokes Collection (Must Read Jokes) - Vastreader

Really Funny Jokes Collection - VastreaderWife: I’m warning you, my Mummy is coming back soon..
Husband: But I’m not doing anything..
wife: That’s why I’m warning you, Hurry up.
Really Funny Jokes Collection - VastreaderCASHIER: This is the 5th movie ticket you’ve bought tonight Sir, Why?..
Man: Yes, that Idiot at the entrance keeps tearing it

Really Funny Jokes Collection - VastreaderTEACHER: What’s your favorite flower?..
Student: Chrysanthemum.. 
TEACHER: Spell it..
Student: I was joking ooh. My favorite flower is Rose: R-O-S-E

Really Funny Jokes Collection - VastreaderTwo Girls were sitting at a club. One was ugly and the other one was beautiful. Brother in law walked straight to the ugly girl.
Brother in law: Hello!
Ugly girl: Hi!!
Brother in law: Wanna dance?
Ugly Girl: Yes (excited)
Brother in law: OK, Go and dance, I want to talk to your friend.

Really Funny Jokes Collection - VastreaderFather: My pikin say you drive an commot for school, Wetin he do?
Teacher:- Your son is not brilliant at al…

Funny Bible Verse Related Jokes

Boy: do you have a boyfriend?
Girl: No. I don’t want a boyfriend.
Boy: Genesis 2:18 “The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him’.”
Girl: But I don’t love you.
Boy: 1 John 4:8 "Whoever does not love, does not know God, because God is love.”
Girl: So how do I discern that your words are true?
Boy: Matthew 12:34b “For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of."
Girl: But how can I be sure that you are faithful and honest?
Boy: Mark 13:31 “Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away."
Girl: But why me? There are so many girls out there.
Boy: Proverbs 31:29 “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all!”
Girl: But what do you see in me, that makes you love me?
Boy: Song of Songs 4:7 " You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you."
Girl: But really, I’m not that beautiful … you’re exaggerating.
Boy: Proverbs 31:30 “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; b…

Funny Vastreader Hilarious Jokes Collection

Laugh a lot, keep having fun and Enjoy - these lines are the most listened lines in life. Ever you wonder why:
people keep saying this?
The simple answer is..
'Life is being given to enjoy, laugh and live at fullest'
Yes, if we are live on this earth, we must laugh because:
Laughter is best medicine
It keeps lots of problems away from us.
It also makes us strong and likable.

So now the question is how to do it or how to have it?
Well, there are many ways to have it i.e.
reading and sharing Jokes,
Entertainment shows on television,
Playing with kids and
Doing what you love.

Among all the above ways, my favorite one is Sharing Jokes.So let me share some new good funny most interesting jokes to opens up your mood and to give you opportunity to give to big laugh:

1. How do you make group of lawyer smile in a pic?
Say feeeeees!

2. A dude is sitting at a bar, wearing a fancy new watch, covered with buttons and lights and dials. The girl next to him says, "Wow, that's a really a…

Vastreader Funny Hilarious Jokes Collection

What is the difference between senior and junior?
The person who lives near sea is senior and who lives near zoo in junior.

Wife: See our neighbour.. He takes his wife everyday outside for dinner, did you ever thing of doing it?
Husband: I tried asking his wife many times but she refuses always :)

Height of insult:
In the hot summer, lot of people were waiting for bus..
Beggar comes and get some tips from everybody..then he takes his smartphone, books a cab and rides away!

I got impressed when someone's laugh is funnier then his jokes.

I am not short, I am built close to the earth for speed and accuracy.

Him: Did you ever do any noble cause?
Me: Yes, somebody was having pain in their leg, waking very slowly..then I opened my dog and they reached in 2 minutes.

My Boss wishes me to have a good and happy day.
So I returned to home.

Press any key to start..
Where is 'Any' key?

Never laugh on your spouse's choice..
You are one of them.

Admit It:
You push the door when it s…

Very Funny collection of Jokes vastreader: Baby and Stupid

A Boy went to his 
Dad’s Friend’s home 
late night. 
Uncle offered him to 
Sleep in Baby’s room. 
Boy refused coz the 
Baby might Cry at Night 
and went to sleep in 
the lounge. 
Next morning he saw a Beautiful Girl at the breakfast table., 
BOY : Who are you.? GIRL : I am Baby and 
You.?? BOY : I am a Stupid.!!

Very Funny Joke: Intelligent Law Breaker

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding. Woman: Oh, I see. Officer: Can I see your license please? Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one. Officer: Don't have one? Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving. Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please. Woman: I can't do that. Officer: Why not? Woman: I stole this car. Officer: Stole it? Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner. Officer: You what? Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see. The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun. Sargent: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! 
The woman steps out of her vehicle. 
Woman: Is there a problem sir? Sargent: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner. Woman: Murdere…

Very Funny collection of Jokes vastreader: Baby and Stupid

A Boy went to his 
Dad’s Friend’s home 
late night. 
Uncle offered him to 
Sleep in Baby’s room. 
Boy refused coz the 
Baby might Cry at Night 
and went to sleep in 
the lounge. 
Next morning he saw a Beautiful Girl at the breakfast table., 
BOY : Who are you.? GIRL : I am Baby and 
You.?? BOY : I am a Stupid.!!

Best Collection of Funny Jokes: unlimited Fun

Super insults πŸ˜‚πŸ˜„πŸ˜œπŸ˜›πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ Smart answer by a female... On a flight, a guy asked a beautiful lady sitting next to him... 'Nice perfume.....which one is it?... 
I want to gift it to my wife..!!' Lady 
'Don't give her....some idiot will find an excuse to talk to her..!!' 
😜😜😜 A letter from a teacher to a parent: Dear Parent, 
Kumar doesn't smell nice in class. Please try to bath him. Parent's answer: 
Dear Teacher, Kumar is not a rose, Don't smell him,Teach him...... 
Mother to Son: 
Who is Aziz Sultan ? 
Son : Don't know 😏 
Mother : Sometime give attention to study also 
Son to Mother : Do you know Chinky Aunty ? 
Mother : Don't know 
Son: Sometimes give attention to Dad also 
A cute excuse: 
Teacher- why are you late? 
Student- Mom & dad were fighting. 
Teacher- so what makes U late if dey were fighting? 
Student- one …

Funny Hilarious Jokes

1.) Money is not Everything.. There is also Amex, visa and master cards..

2.) One should Love animals They are too tasty....

3.) Save water...Instead drink on the Rocks...

4.) Fruit, Salad and green vegetables are healthy..Leave them for the sick..

5.) Books are Holy..Don't touch them..

6.) Don't shout in office..It disturbs those who are sleeping...

7.) Love thy neighbors.. But don't get caught

8.) Hard work never killed anyone..But why take Chances..?

9) Why do something today can be done tomorrow by someone else

10.) Everyone should Marry.. after all... Happiness is not only thing in Life..

Funny Hilarious Jokes of Vastreader

Funny Hilarious Joke

There is a great relation between a watch & a wife... Wanna know how:
Here you go:
1. A watch does 24 hours: tik tik tik... And a wife does 24 hours kit kit kit..

2. Watch's sticks come to same point after having round so wife does. She comes to same point after you make her understand and force you to go with her understanding.

3. If watch goes faulty, it goes to mechanic shop but watch goes wrong, it goes to mom's home..

4. You need cells to charge watch and you need to salary to charge the wife.

5. When its 12 in the watch, all sticks are one but when it 12 hour with wife, she looks like 3..

6. There is fix time when watch gives alarm but there is no fix time of wife's alarm.

7. When watch has a problem, it stops but when wife has a problem, she starts..

8. The bid difference is whenever you want you can change the watch but you can't change the wife.

Very Funny Funny Jokes of Vastreader

Old saying: Whenever you awake, that is morning..
New saying: Whenever you awake, you are online..

Wife to her friend: I tried to be good wife for few days.. I did everything to be cool with my hubby.. 
But after one week I fought with hubby..
God promise.. now I am feeling much better and relaxed..... and now I came to know that real satisfaction comes only when I do fight with him...

Man: I always feel so tired.. I always get sleep and even after sleeping many hours, I again feel to have more sleep.
Dr.: Ok, which phone do you use?
Man: Very basic phone..
Dr. Ah.... Please buy a smart phone.. May be Android or Apple.. Install social media apps and than you will be busy always.. You will not get sleep so easy because there is always something bothering you... Cheers..

Wife returns from market...
Husband says: My guess, you must be bringing something to eat in this box..
Wife: Oh my dear.. You are absolutely right.. I have my sleepers for you to...

Do remember that Love is blind but ALSO remember…

Funny Jokes vastreader

I did fall--
She laughed...
I replied: I didn't fall - floor just needed a HUG.

Mom: Did you read any book in last two months?
Me: Mom, I did go through Facebook, does it count?

behind every smile....
Joke :)
Which you never understand... LOL

Teacher to another teacher - he failed the exam..
me to my friend: she failed to teach me..

Husband: Today, onward, I will spend no time on social media and spend all time with wife and kids..
Wife: And you will share you so bad jokes? NO WAY.. please...

Funny collection of Jokes of Vastreader

When min stops working?
Men's mind work perfectly all the times...but it stops working only 2 critical times..
Me: When?
Man: 5 minute before exam and while choosing a girl..

Will you DANCE?
In a marriage function, boy said to a girl: will you dance?
Girl: Ahh, Ok, yes
Boy, then please stand up, I need a chair..

Girl's status
I do lots of worship and good work..
But I am afraid if I become a goddess so that I why I go illegal sometimes...

Why did you make me married?
Son: Dad, why you have forced me for marriage?
Dad: You don't know?
Son: No, please tell..
Dad: 25 years I have cleaned dishes alone but Now with you...

On you head
Man while wedding to priest: Sir, on while side I should ask my bride to sit, left or right?
Priest: Anywhere son, because ultimately she will sit on your head all the life..

Why you are here?
Girl sees her ex lover on her marriage, rushes towards him and asks: Why are you here, I am getting married tomorrow..
Boy: Catering and other arrangement are being ordered to me…

Pudichavangaluku anuppu, see what they want from you

Pudichavangaluku anuppu😊
& see wht dey want frm UπŸ‘ˆπŸ»πŸ˜ƒ⚜ 1- Kammiya pesuπŸ™Š
⚜ 2- Knjm siriπŸ˜€
⚜ 3- Adhigama pesadhaπŸ—£πŸš«
⚜ 4- Free ah iruπŸ€—
⚜ 5- Adhigama velila suthadha🏍❌
⚜ 6- Phone pannite iruπŸ“²
⚜ 7- Chnge ur natureπŸ‘πŸ»
⚜ 8- Ipdiye sweet ah iruπŸ˜πŸ˜‹
⚜ 9- Kovatha kammi pannikoπŸ˜ πŸ™…πŸ»
⚜ 10- Iam w8ing 4 ur propzalπŸ˜˜πŸ’‘
⚜ 11- Eppavum naughty ah iruπŸ€“πŸ˜œ
⚜ 12- Sagum varakim enkoodave iru☹πŸ™‚
⚜ 13- Enaku unna rommmmmba pudikum☺😘
⚜ 14- Enna vittu poiradha plzzπŸ˜­πŸ™πŸ»
W8ing 4 ur rply.....✍πŸ»πŸ™‡πŸ» for all my friends

Enmela unaku ethavathu kovam na enkitta sollu pinnadi pesatha gud bye

Enmela unaku ethavathu kovam na enkitta sollu pinnadi pesatha gud bye..            

Unnakku enmala edhuachu kovam Na enn munnadi sollu enn pinnadi poi sollra ena romba hurt panita good bye.....
Got  shocked  na?
this is simply a frndshp msg..😘1. No rplyπŸ™ƒ- i m nthing to u 2.yenna achu😳- nanbanda....3. Na enga sonnaen- silent crush on u4.CallπŸ˜’- u luv me 5. Who told to u😠 - u luv me alot6.loosu😠 - miss u7. Dai - i like u lot 8. Yenna da  un loverku anuparatha yenaku anupita- nanbenda..9.Mathi anupitaya - unna mathiri frd yenaku yarume illaNow  play  with  ur  frndz  i  had  good  response  from  all u  guys πŸ˜‰
its  total  fun believe  me...

Funny collection of Jokes cast teaser

Teacher: What is the difference between Song and lecture?
Student: When other women say something, it feels like a sweet song. Her voice attacks on our heart. So nice.. AND when our own wife says something - Ahh.. It is a lecturer..
NEXT DAY - Teacher gave the student a good treat for having such a deep knowledge --:) :) :)

Man: My wife is missing..
Postman: This is post office NOT police station..
Man: I am really sorry - out of happiness - I am confused and do not understand where to go..

Funny Collection of Lover Jokes vastreader

Do you know the difference between the US and yogurt? . . . . . . . . . . .
Well, yes - If you leave yogurt alone for 300 years, it develops a culture.

Boy: I fall in love in love with a nice Girl..!!
Girl: Good!! Who is she?
Boy: She is your shadow.. and looks a bit like you....
Girl: Awwww!! Is it me?
Boy: No, Your sister..

Boy: I hate to see a girl standing in a bus when I am comfortably seated.
Girl: So what do you do?
Boy:I close my eyes and sleep.

Seems like you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?
Yes you are right.. but I married the wrong woman.

Q: What's the difference between a knife and a woman arguing? .

Well , a knife has a point.

What do you call a french man killed defending his country? 
I don't know either, its never happened!

Spouse:what will you give me if i arrived the top of mountain? 
Hubby: A little push

Best Joke of Bus Conductor and Old Lady in Whatsapp

An old lady always gave the bus conductor Cashew nuts, Almonds to eat.
Conductor: "So kind of u that you give me those nuts to eat everyday.
Why don't you eat them yourself?"
Old Lady: "I don't have teeth to munch them.
"Conductor: "Then why did you buy them?"
Old Lady: "I just love the chocolate around them!"
Dont laugh alone pass it on.....πŸ‘ΉπŸ‘Ή

Best Husband and Wife Joke in WhatsApp about Divorce

MASTER PIECE COMEDY😜Husband & his wife went for Divorce at court.
Judge : U have 3 kids...How will u divide them?
He had long discussion with his wife & said " Ok, sir We will come next year with 1 more kid" πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚Joke doesn't end here....
9 months later....They got twins😜😝

Best Doctor and Patient Joke in Whatsapp

*Laugh at this* :An Indian Doctor can't find a job in a Hospital in US so he opens a clinic and puts a sign outside 'GET TREATMENT FOR $20 - IF NOT CURED GET BACK $100A American lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic...*Lawyer* :  "I have lost my sense of taste"*Indian doctor* :  "Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 22 and put 3 drops in patient's mouth"*Lawyer* :  "Ugh..this is kerosene"*Indian doctor* :  "Congrats, your sense of taste is restored. Give me $20"The annoyed lawyer goes back after a few days to recover his money...*Lawyer* :  "I have lost my memory. I cannot remember anything"*Indian doctor* :  "Nurse, bring medicine from box no. 22 and put 3 drops in his mouth"*Lawyer (annoyed)* :  "This is kerosene. You gave this to me last time for restoring my taste"*Indian doctor* : "Congrats. You got your memory back. Give me $20"The fuming lawyer pays …