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Miracle of Saints: Bilocation of Saint Padre Pio


Miracle of Saints: Bilocation of Saint Padre Pio

Bilocation of St Padre Pio

Bilocation in the lives of the Saints

Bilocation (sometimes hyphenated as bi-location) is a special gift of God where an individual can be in two places at once. God always uses this gift for acts of mercy or charity to be performed by the Saint, in circumstances where it is physically impossible for the Saint to be present under normal circumstances.

While the gift of bi-location has been given to countless saints. Probably one of the most frequent and documented accounts occurred relatively recently in the extraordinary life of the beloved St Padre Pio of Pietrelcina (1887-1968).

Extraordinary examples of the gift of bi-location in the life of St Pio:

In the April 2008 issue of “Pray, Hope and Don’t Worry” newsletter published by Padre Pio Devotions we read of an account of the extraordinary appearance of St Pio in America.
Ellie Hunt’s family came from Padre Pio’s hometown of Pietrelcina and had known Padre Pio from his childhood. They eventually emigrated from Italy to New York. In 1960, when Ellie was 31 years old her grandfather, Jack Crafa became gravely ill. Ellie and her parents lived close to his home in Flushing, New York and during his grave illness, the family stayed by his side. When Jack eventually fell into a coma, they all knew that his life was soon passing.

One day while Ellie and her parents were at her grandfather’s bedside, a stranger knocked at the door. They were all surprised to see a Capuchin monk dressed in a dark brown habit, because there were no Capuchin monks in their Parish or in any other parish in the area for that matter. They were also surprised to see that he was wearing sandals without any socks, because it was a particularly cold day and snow covered the ground. The monk said that he had come to pray for her grandfather. Ellie was also a bit upset, because she thought that the parish priest should have come to pray for her grandfather, and not a complete stranger. However, she was soon impressed by the kindness and compassion of the young monk.

He then went straight into her grandfathers bedroom and blessed Jack Crafa. Then told the family to pray the Rosary suggesting that they sit at Jack’s side, praying the Hail Mary close to his ear, for he seemed to have the opinion that Jack was still able to hear. After the monk said that, Ellie was surprised to find that when she took her grandfather’s hand in hers, she felt a response from a very slight squeeze from his hand.

The young Capuchin then gave Ellie’s grandfather the Last Sacraments, then he blessed the family and bid them goodbye. As he walked out the front door, Ellie’s father, James noticed that there was no car waiting for him outside. James watched him as he walked up the street until he disappeared in the darkness. Jack Crafa died that very night. He had been in a coma for nine days.

After the unknown monk had left, Ellie’s father James became pale and appeared quite shaken. Ellie’s mother Lucy, asked him for the reason.”Don’t you know who that was?” James replied, “It was Padre Pio. He came to give the Last Rites to your father and he looked exactly like I remember him when I used to deliver eggs to him in Pietrelcina.”

For Ellie’s grandfather Jack had been one of Padre Pio’s spiritual sons from Pietrelcina and through a special grace God Padre Pio had come to comfort and encourage him, and to administer the last Sacraments of the Church, for his death was only hours away.



More examples of bilocation in the life of St Padre Pio
[The primary source for this section is "Padre Pio- The Stigmatist" by Rev Charles Mortimer Carty, Radio Replies Press, 2nd ed.]Signora Concetta Bellarmini of S. Vito Lanciano declares that she was suddenly stricken with a blood infection followed by bronchial pneumonia with a very high fever. She was reduced to such a state that the doctors despaired of ever saving her. The flesh had become yellow from the infection which had spread throughout her body.

A relative urged her to direct her prayers to Padre Pio. She prayed to him whom she has never seen, when suddenly in full daylight a stigmatized monk appeared to her and smiling blessed her without touching her as he stood in the middle of the room. The woman asked him if his appearance signified the grace for the conversion of her children, or else the grace for her physical cure. Then Padre answered, "Sunday morning you will be cured," then he vanished from the room, leaving an odor of perfume which the servant girl also smelt. After this visit her flesh turned normal color, the fever ceased and in a few days her health was completely restored. She went with her brother to San Giovanni Rotondo to see if Padre Pio was the one who appeared to her. When she arrived at the Monastery and saw Padre Pio in the church she turned to her brother and said, "There he is, he is the one."

Signor Bugarini Arturo of Ancona was urged by friends to turn to Padre Pio for the cure of his boy. Whilst he was standing near the bedside of his critically ill son he felt three consecutive taps on his shoulder, whilst a voice said: "I am Padre Pio, I am Padre Pio, I am Padre Pio." At the same time he felt all over his body a wave of heat as if he were next to an intense flame, then all of a sudden it ceased. This visit of Padre Pio restored the health of the son. Father and son visited the monastery to thank Padre Pio for the miraculous cure and the spiritual conversion of the father and all the Bugarini family.

On July 20, 1921, a Monsignor D'Indico of Florence, whom this author met in 1923 when studying theology at the Archbishop's Seminary at Florence, was alone in his study. He felt the sensation of having someone at his back. He turned and saw a monk who disappeared. He left his quarters to tell a chaplain what happened. The chaplain thought it was mere hallucination due to his actual state of anxiety over his sister, who was very ill. He invited him to take a short walk for mental distraction.

When they returned they called at the sick room. His sister who a little before was in the state of coma, at the same hour as when her brother felt the sensation of being in the presence of Padre Pio, narrated that she had seen a monk enter her room who approached her and said:
"Don't be afraid, tomorrow your fever will disappear and after a few days there will be no trace of your illness on your body."

"But Padre," she answered, "are you then a saint?"

"No, I am only a creature who serves the Lord through His mercies.""Let me kiss your habit, Padre."
"Kiss the sign of the passion," and he showed his hands transfixed and bleeding.
"Padre, I recommend to you my husband and child."
"Pray, pray that you will be good and be assured that your child will be under my protection," and blessing her he vanished.

She immediately got better and in eight days was entirely cured.

His opinion on the recognition of bilocation
One day a monk who was speaking about the bilocation of St. Anthony of Padua who miraculously appeared in Lisbon, said to Padre Pio: "Perhaps these privileged of the Lord do not even know when their bilocation occurs:'Padre Pio quickly interrupting him as one who is experienced with such events answered: "Certainly they know. They cannot know if the body or the soul moves, but they are very conscious of what happens and they know where they are going."

St Pio miraculously appears to a General
While World War I was raging throughout Europe, one day General Cadorna, a General in the Italian Army, was in his study during the war and in deep study he held his head in his hands, thinking of all the young men who, for the love of country would have to give up their lives, when suddenly he smelt a very strong perfume odor of roses which was wafted around the room. Raising his venerable head, he was stupefied to see a monk with a seraphic look and with bleeding hands. Passing in front of him, the monk said, "Be calm, they will not do anything harmful to you."

With the disappearance of the monk, the general no longer smelled the perfume. He told a Franciscan friend about the vision and when he mentioned the perfume the Franciscan said, "Your excellency, you have seen Padre Pio." Then he told the general all about Padre Pio. The general decided to visit San Giovanni and when he arrived there incognito, he was immediately approached by two Capuchins, who had recognized the general even though he was trying to disguise himself in civilian clothing. They approached him and said, "Your Excellency, Padre Pio is waiting for you. He sent us to meet you."

St Pio appears leaves the imprint of his stigmatized hand on a bed sheet
Emma Meneghello, a very pious young girl of 14, was afflicted with epilepsy which threw her into fits several times a week. One afternoon whilst in prayer, Padre Pio appeared to her and placed his hand on the bed sheet, then smiled and vanished. The cured epileptic arose to kiss the place where the Padre had placed his hand and she noticed a cross of blood left on the sheet. A small square cut of the sheet with the blood stains is conserved today in a glass picture frame. "Through the intercession of Padre Pio," writes this miraculously cured girl, "I have obtained other graces, especially for dying babies."

Padre Pio appears and cures a dying man
Mrs. Ersilia Magurno, a woman of great faith, for two months was taking care of her husband, who was stricken with influenza. This illness would not have given alarm were it not that he was also affiicted with a very weak heart. Night and day helped by a nun, the wife was watching her husband with every possible care, whilst praying and invoking Padre Pio. He grew worse and the doctors advised that the last rites be given to him because of the very alarming failure of his heart.

One night the wife noticed in the room a strong perfume of flowers. The next morning, however, a worse condition prevailed and the dying man was approaching his end. A telegram begged Padre Pio's intercession. Two days later Mr. Magurno entered the state of coma. The wife did not give up hope and sent a second telegram. Finally the 27th of Feb., 1947, the sick man after a day of prolonged crisis fell asleep. The nun was away and the wife remained alone to watch him and at midnight she noticed that his sleep was more restful than usual. At 7:30 in the morning, noticing that he was awakening, she rushed to his side and said, "How do you feel?"
"I am cured, I am well. Padre Pio just left the room; open the window please and take my temperature." It was entirely normal.
"Ernesto," asked the astonished wife, anxious to hear and to know. "What are you saying? Have you seen Padre Pio? And what, did he tell you?"
“He came together with another monk, he examined my heart and said, 'This fever will go away, tomorrow you will be cured and within four days you can get up.' “Padre Pio looked around, examined the medicines, read the medical reports and remained in the room all night." To confirm this miracle a strong odor of violets was observed in the room.

Five months later on July 27 the couple went to San Giovanni and Mr. Magurno immediately recognized Padre Pio as the monk who cured him. Padre Pio received him with fond greetings and placing his hand on his shoulder said to him: "How much this heart has made you suffer."
"Go away child for you have been cured"
We must not think that Padre Pio arrives always unexpectedly at the bedside of the sick, for at times he announced in advance the time of his coming. Once a little sick girl told her parents the approximate hour of his arrival, and the parents in their simplicity not understanding the phenomenon went to meet him at the railroad station. When they returned to the child disappointed, they found her asleep.

"Padre Pio didn't come," her mother said sadly, as soon as she saw her waking.
"Why he just left!," the child answered. A young girl, cured also providentially from a grave infirmity, desired to test the power of Padre Pio and she came to him feigning the infirmity that once afflicted her.
“Go away child," he said, striking her jokingly on the shoulder, "go away for you are quite cured and be careful that you never again tempt the mercy of the Lord."

He miraculously appears to baptise a baby as promised
A couple from Genoa visited Padre Pio to sadly tell him that they had no children.
"Bring him to me to be baptized when he is born," was his answer. From this reply and many other similar ones we discover that Padre Pio was often able to foretell the sex of an unborn child.

The following year the fortunate couple returned with their baby boy, but in the Church of Our Lady of Graces there was no baptismal font and there was such a crowd in the church that they could not reach Padre Pio. The mother remained in the Parish House of San Giovanni Rotondo one mile away, whilst the father went to the monastery to protest that Padre Pio had invited them to come there, otherwise they would not have come. He waited and his wait was in vain. He returned to the Parish House to learn from his wife that even though Padre Pio at the time specified was very preoccupied with the people had come and baptized the baby.

Padre Pio miraculously appears and rescues a condemned woman

In a city of central Italy a teacher and ex-secretary of a Fascist organization was accused of having furnished arms and bombs to the Fascisti, who perpetrated an explosion that killed military and civilians. But the teacher was innocent. Taken by force from her home to be tried and shot she succeeded in bringing with her a Rosary and a photograph of Padre Pio. They conducted her to observe the destruction and to see the spectacle of the dead whose death they attributed to her. They then brought her to the place of execution.

Meanwhile some members of the firing squad entered her home with the pretext of searching for arms. Instead they began stealing money, objects of gold, clothing, until all of a sudden there thundered a shout, "Enough," so resolutely and imperiously that the soldiers fled abandoning their loot.

The sister of the condemned girl watching the whole scene cringing in a corner recognized in the shouting of "Enough," the voice of Padre Pio.
The order to aim and fire had been suspended because of the arrival of an interminable column of armored cars, horses, cannon, ambulances and marching troops. The commander of the firing squad remained standing on a car as if hypnotized.


St Padre Pio celebrating Holy Mass & Eucharist
The young teacher could hardly breathe as she reflected that her hour would come when the last soldier passed by. She began to pray to Padre Pio for the grace of seeing God's will in her execution. A gentleman approached her and asked what they had decided to do with her.
“I don't know, I no longer know anything, they are all away, there is only the commander there," as she pointed him out with a facial expression full of horror.
He was motionless as if cemented to his post. “Then consider yourself free and come with me."
He brought her in his automobile to her home where many women were comforting her griefstricken sister. The condemned girl threw herself into her sister's arms and then taking a picture of Padre Pio from the wall, kissed it and pressed it to her heart. In that instant she felt a hand gently patting her cheek.

A few months later the teacher went to San Giovanni to thank her saviour.
“Padre," she said, “my life will not be enough to thank you." He said: “My child, how much your faith caused me to run."
-St Pio of Pietrelcina, pray for us!
____________________________________________


A few quotes and sayings of Padre Pio:

"Prayer is the best weapon we possess. It is the key that opens the heart of God."

"Love our Lady and make her loved; always recite the Rosary and recite it as often as possible."

"You must always humble yourself lovingly before God and before men, because God speaks only to those who are truly humble and He enriches them with His gifts."

"Humility and purity are the wings which carry us to God and make us almost divine."

"Hold on tightly to the Rosary. Be very grateful to the Madonna because it was she who gave us Jesus."

"The Rosary is a special weapon for these times in which we are living"

"Love Jesus, love Him very much, but to do this, be ready to love sacrifice more."

"Imagine Jesus crucified in your arms and on your chest, and say a hundred times as you kiss His chest, "This is my hope, the living source of my happiness; this is the heart of my soul; nothing will ever separate me from His love."

"Stay with me, Lord, for as poor as my soul is I want it to be a place of consolation for You.."

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Saints with Mystical Knowledge Reading of Soul and Heart


Saints with Mystical Knowledge Reading of Soul and Heart

Mystical knowledge in the Saints -Reading into the heart and souls of men



Mystical knowledge in the lives of the Saints –The gift of reading into hearts
By: Glenn Dallaire

A facet of Mystical knowledge is a supernatural gift of God whereby a Saint is able to read into the heart and conscience of an individual to then be able to guide and direct the person towards a greater union with God. Over the centuries, this gift of reading into souls has often been given to Priests that they may better guide penitents in the Sacrament of Confession. Some of the Priests famous for the gift of reading souls are St Padre Pio (d. 1968), St Anthony of Padua (d. 1231), St John Bosco (d. 1888), St Philip Neri (d.1595), St Francis of Paola (d. 1507), St Joseph of Cupertino (d. 1663) and St Paul of the Cross (d. 1775) to name just a few.
There have also been many mystics who have received this gift of reading into hearts, such as St Gerard Majella (d. 1755), St Catherine of Siena (d. 1380), St Lydwine of Schiedam (d. 1433), St Hedwig (d. 1243) and in modern times the mystics Blessed Alexandrina da Costa (d. 1955) and Servant of God Marthe Robin (d. 1981), and the American mystic Marie-Rose Ferron (d. 1936) to name just a few.

Perhaps one of the greatest and most documented examples of the gift of reading into souls can be found in the extraordinary life of St. John Vianney (1786-1859), affectionately known across the world as “The Cure of Ars”. St John Vianney was a most zealous priest who spent his whole life for the conversion of sinners. Sainte Jean Marie Baptiste Vianney as he is known in France was a country priest in the small town of Ars, France. He spent literally 16-18 hours a day in the confessional, and people from all over France and abroad made pilgrimages to Ars to visit the “Holy Cure”, and to go to him in Confession. For God, who was pleased with the love and devotion of this holy priest gave him the gift of reading hearts, so as to be able to lead sinners closer to God, and St John Vianney certainly possessed this gift in a most extraordinary way.

The gift of reading hearts in the life of St John Vianney
[Primary source: “The Cure D’ Ars” by Abbe Franicis Trochu, The Newman Press, 1953]
Because of his gift of reading souls, people came from all over France to go to Confession to the holy Cure of Ars, and although he spent from 16-18 hours a day in the Confessional, there were always long lines of people waiting to seek advice and counsel from him, for he truly was a “alter Christus”, that is, another Christ. He are some true stories about his amazing gift of seeing into the heart of men.

A woman who was the mother of sixteen children had succeeded in getting a place in line in the middle of the nave, because with so many children to care for, she could not afford to be away from home for too long. Suddenly the saint appeared outside his confessional, and, pointing his finger towards her, he said: "You, madame, you are in a hurry- Come at once!"

In 1833, or thereabouts, Marguerite Humbert, of Ecully, now Madame Fayolle, paid a visit-the first in fifteen years -to her cousin, Jean-Marie Vianney. He had asked the daughters of the Providence to treat her well, because she had taken good care of him during the time of his studies. "Now, before leaving," Marguerite tells us, "I returned to the church, and I asked myself whether I should go to confession to my cousin. At that very moment someone came to tell me that he was waiting for me. I was greatly surprised because he could not see me where I was. . . . I left Ars full of a great interior joy"

One day the servant of God was hearing confessions in the sacristy. M. Oriol records: "All of a sudden he appeared on the threshold, and, addressing me, he said: 'My friend, ask that lady who is towards the back of the church to come to me.' And he told me how I should know her. Now, I could not find the lady at the place to which he had directed me, so I returned and told him.

He replied, 'Go quickly; she is in front of such a house.' I ran and overtook the lady, who was going away, grievously disappointed, for she could wait no longer.'"

A poor woman, whose timidity had evidently caused her to miss her turn for confession two or three times in succession, had been at Ars eight days without succeeding in seeing the holy Cure. Finally the saint himself summoned her; more than that, he went to fetch her, and led her through the crowd to the chapel of St John the Baptist. Quite happy now, she held on to his cassock and slipped through the passage he opened for her.
The saint knew from personal experience that grace has its moments, and that it may go by without coming back. Hence, on occasion, he literally caught souls "on the wing."

In the year 1853, a cheery band of young men set out from Lyons to go on pilgrimage to Ars. They were good Christians ; all except one, an old man who had joined the group, "solely to please the young people." They reached the village at about three o'clock in the afternoon. "Go to church, if you like," said the unbeliever on leaving the carriage; "as for me, I shall order dinner."He walked a few yards, then stopped. "No, on second thoughts, I will go with you," he said, "for you should not be that long!"

So the whole band filed into the church. Now at that very moment Fr. John Vianney, the Cure of Ars, came out of the sacristy and entered the chancel. He knelt down, stood up and turned round; his eyes were looking for someone in the direction of the holy water basin, and finally he signalled to someone to come up. "It is you he wants," the youths told the astonished unbeliever. So he walked up, obviously feeling very embarrassed, we are told by the nun to whom we owe this story. "As for us, we were chuckling inwardly, for we understood that the bird had been caught. The Cure shook his hand, saying: 'It is a long time since you were at confession?' 'My good Cure, it is something like thirty years, I believe.' 'Thirty years, my friend? Just think. . . . It is thirty-three years; you were then at such a place..."
'You are right, M. le Cure.'
‘Ah, well, so we are going to confession now, are we not?'

The old man confessed afterwards that he was so taken aback by the invitation that he dared not say no; but he added: 'I at once experienced a sensation of indefinable comfort.' The confession took twenty minutes, and made a new man of him."


The way in which another sinner was won over is quite typical. About the year 1840 a certain man named Rochette took his son, who was sick, to the wonder-worker of Ars. His wife accompanied him; she went to confession and received Holy Communion.

As for Rochette, he had but one concern: namely, to obtain the cure of his boy. He paid, indeed, a few visits to the church, but he kept in the neighbourhood of the holy water font. There he was when the saint, coming from behind the altar where he was hearing the confessions of priests, began to call him. He refused to budge. At that moment his wife and his son were close to the altar rails. "Is he really that much an unbeliever?" Father Vianney asked the wife. At last, at the third summons, the man decided to walk up the nave. "After all," he thought, "the Cure d' Ars will not eat me!" He went with Father Vianney behind the altar. There was no time to lose. "This is for both of us, Rochette," said the Cure, and, pointing to the confessional: "Go into there," he said.
"Oh!" the other replied, "I don't feel like it." "Well, begin here then." replied Father Vianney

Incapable of offering resistance to so sudden an attack, Rochette had fallen on his knees.
"My father," he stammered, "it is some time…ten years...."
"Make it a little more." "Twelve years then. . . ." "Still yet a little more." replied the holy Cure.
"Yes, since the great jubilee of 1826."
"Ah! there we are! One finds it with a little bit of seeking."

Rochette then made his confession like a child. The following day saw him kneeling by the side of his wife at the altar rails. Their boy, the faithful chronicler adds, left in the church of Ars his two crutches, for which he had no further use!

Thus for countless souls the road to Ars became the road to Damascus, nor should anyone imagine that, in addition to his personal prayers and penances, the saint had recourse to any unusual means to bring about their conversion. They were moved, at first, by the fire of his preaching, so that, when he came to close quarters with them in the privacy of the confession; a few words were enough to deal them the blow that prostrates the spirit of man in order to raise it again.

Moreover, except in special cases such as a general confession, he sought to make most confessions rather quickly so as to be able to confess as many persons as possible, and he required a like conduct from the penitent. "Five minutes sufficed to pour out my soul into his," said Pere Combalot on leaving the confessional of the Cure d' Ars. He did not mince matters in dealing with sinners; his sublime faith raised him far above the fear of men, and, putting all his trust in God alone, he knew, when necessary, how to say to men, irrespective of their position: “It is not lawful for you to do that!" Who can tell the number of souls whom the lancet of his word freed from the hidden virus that poisoned their life? He knew the spot which it was necessary to touch, and he rarely missed his aim.

"Ah! if God were not so good," he sighed; "but He is so good!" or again "Save your poor soul! What a pity to lose a soul that has cost our Lord so much! What harm then has he done to you that you treat him thus?"
"Alas!" the holy confessor said to M. Valpinson, a merchant of La Ferte-Mace, "you have a vice that will be your damnation -namely, pride." The penitent owned to it and began to reflect. That simple word changed his soul, and his life became that of a meek and humble Christian. He could never recall his memories of Ars without shedding tears.

In order to move big sinners, Father Vianney, without other exhortation, contented himself with uttering one phrase, simple but terrible on the lips of one who read the future:
"My friend, you are damned!" It was short, but it was eloquent. Obviously the saint intended to speak conditionally, and his meaning was: "Unless you avoid such an occasion, if you persist in such a habit, if you do not follow such and such advice, you will be damned." "What, I damned! I am to be cursed by God forever!" Francois Bourdin, of Villebois, kept repeating to himself on coming out of the confessional.

In 1856, in consequence of bad business transactions, this man, though still young-he was thirty-five years old-had gone, full of despair, to live with his father-in-law at Ambutrix. A mission happened to be taking place at the time, but, notwithstanding the entreaties of his family, he refused to attend it. His faith, nevertheless, was far from extinct, but the despairing thoughts that haunted him turned him away from God. In the end he was touched by grace: "I want to go to confession," he announced, "but to the holy confessor, the Cure d' Ars." But the holy Cure of Ars saw into the mans soul, and by way of encouragement, after the avowal of his sins and miseries, all he heard from the Cure was the terrifying answer: "My boy, you are damned!" But the threat became a flash of light. The man was instantly converted, and to the end of his life remained a fervent Christian.
As a rule the direction of pious souls did not demand many more words. But here also his utterances were fiery darts that buried themselves in the heart for all time. "Love your priests very much!" was all he said to Mgr. de Langalerie, his own Bishop, when he knelt at his feet."

Or again "I have been somewhat careless when doing such-and-such a thing," Frere Athanase told him in confession, "but mainly, my intentions are good." "Oh, my friend, good intentions! Hell is paved with them." That was all he said.

Frere Amedee, the future Superior-General of the Brothers of the Holy Family, had just concluded his confession: "Oh! love, love the good God very much!" exclaimed Father Vianney, at the same time folding his hands; and he gave him absolution without adding another word.

"He twice heard my confession," says the Abbe Monnin. "Every one of my accusations provoked on his part this exclamation of faith, commiseration, and horror for the smallest sin: 'What a pity!' I was particularly struck by the accent of tenderness with which he uttered the words. His simple “What a pity” in all its beauty showed what damage sin had done to the soul. And it was the sincere holiness of the Cure d’ Ars that imparted to his words their power and efficacy."



The gift of reading souls in the life of St Padre Pio
St Padre Pio (May 25, 1887-Sept 23, 1968) was one of the greatest mystics of the 20th century. He bore the stigmata (the wounds of Christ) for 50 years and was known not only for his deep holiness, but also the extraordinary mystical gifts with which he was given by God. One of these mystical gifts was the ability to read souls, especially during Confession. Because of his popularity as an extraordinary Confessor, he often spent up to 18 hours a day in the Confessional, and in fact it eventually became necessary to implement a "ticket-booking" system, whereby those interested in going to confession to Padre Pio had to have their name entered in a log book, and were then given a ticket. Depending on the season of the year the wait for confession to Padre Pio was between 3 days in the winter months, to well over a week in the summer months.

This writer has before him perhaps 4 dozen accounts of St Padre Pio's incredible gift of reading hearts, but since this article is already becoming lengthy, I will list only a few examples. Those interested in reading more can simply pick up one of the many biographies on Padre Pio.

We begin with the true story of a young man from a town in the North of Italy who was going through a bad period of religious crisis. He happened to go to a conference given by a priest from Padre Pio's monastery named Fr. Mariano Paladino. The young man felt inspired to confide in him and told him some of his doubts and spiritual struggles.

The priest, after listening to him made him a proposal: "Why not come down to San Giovanni Rotondo to talk to Padre Pio?". He accepted and soon after arriving in San Giovanni Rotundo he decided to go to Confession. He entered the Confessional and before he even opened his mouth Padre Pio said to him: "Answer yes or no to the questions I ask".

Then the Padre began an almost unbelievable examination of conscience: "Have you done.....", asked the Holy Confessor naming a particular sin. From the very beginning of this "litany", if the youth wanted to say something that was not either an approval or disapproval, the Padre repeated: "Please reply only yes or no" and he continued the examination. The Padre gave a precise list of sins to which the youth unfortunately had to answer only "yes" to each question. His head was swirling wondering how Padre Pio could possibly know all of these intimate things and faults about him. At the end of the examination of his conscience (or better to say, his "revelation" of conscience), the Padre said: "My son, with all these bad sins I cannot now give you absolution"and then he sent him away. The penitent went away very saddened for his sins, and full of repentance he cried for three days, but during this time the Padre did not abandon him, as we shall see next.

The next day after holy Mass the Saint passed by him, and suddenly the young man smelled a wave of perfume, like a bouquet of flowers. He couldn't understand why, but noticing that Padre Pio had just shaved his tonsure, he thought to himself: "Surely this friar must have just been to the barbers and in doing so they must have covered him in aftershave!" It was later that it was revealed to him that the beautiful floral fragarance which he percieved at that precise moment was actually that which eminated from Padre Pio's wounds of the stigmata.


Afterwards, he went back to his hotel and while he was locked in his thoughts and staring at a wall, he suddenly saw on the wall a photo of Padre Pio: it seemed that the Padre was looking directly at him and he was so struck by his penetrating glance that he felt compelled to close his eyes. When he re-opened them the photo had disappeared. He was very surprised and wanted to know what had happened to him in that intense moment. He went over and asked the hotel keeper: "Where is the picture with the photo that was on the wall over there? The hotel keeper answered: "What? There has never been a photo on the wall over there".

The young man then understood that the Padre was near him in this difficult moment of his life. He went home feeling calmer and more at peace. After a period of reflection he went back again to San Giovanni Rotondo. Once again he confessed to the Padre and to the surprise of many he suddenly made a radical choice: to embrace the religious life and become a priest. (This story was revealed by the man--now a priest--in December of 1999, and out of humility he requested to remain anonymous)
--------

There was a poor young woman who volunteered to sort through items that were donated to charity. One day, among other things, there was a nice piece of cloth that was donated, and since she was quite poor, she decided to take it to make herself a dress.


Soon afterwards she happened to go to Confession to Padre Pio. Immediately at the beginning of the sacramental dialogue he said to her: "You have got dirty hands!".

She did not understand what the Padre was referring to and she replied: "But father, I have washed them!".

And then Padre Pio replied: "And what about that material that you kept for yourself?"
The young woman was stunned and wondered how in the world he could have known this. She replied: "But father, it was from the things that were donated for the poor, and I am poor!"


The Padre, wanting to make himself clear said: "Yes, but you should have asked'."-----------------------


In closing we have Mrs. Maria Mansi who relates what happened to her mother in confession to Padre Pio.
"One day my mother had to go from Biella to her hometown Gioia del Colle, so she decided to pay a visit to San Giovanni Rotondo to speak to the holy Padre. Soon after her arrival she went to confession and she confessed to him that she had missed Mass the Sunday before, and at the same time seeking to justify herself she gave the excuse "....because it was raining very heav­ily".But the Saint, enlightened by the Holy Spirit, soon dismantled the poor excuse saying: "Yes, it was raining heavily, but it was also raining heavily when you left on your journey, but that did not stop you then!"
-----------------------
-St John Vianney, pray for us!
-St Padre Pio, pray for us!

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Saints with the Holy Stigmata


Saints with the Holy Stigmata

The Stigmata


Miracles of the Saints: The holy Stigmata

The stigmata is the wounds of Jesus inflicted by God upon the body of the saint-mystic-victim soul. They consist of the five wounds of Jesus which are the nail wounds in the hands and feet, along with the wound in the side, next to the heart. They can be either visible or invisible. The main purpose of the stigmata is so the saint may suffer in union with Jesus for the conversion of sinners, that is, for the redemption of humanity. Those who bear the stigmata are then “co-redeemers” with Christ, as they, with their limited human capabilities, share in His sufferings and participate in a special way in His Redemption. Simply put, victim souls make reparation for sin and do penance for all those who don't. And through their sufferings in union with Jesus they lead souls to God, by obtaining the graces that certain souls need to turn to God. They participate in and live the Passion of Jesus in their body and souls, for the conversion of sinners.

For the Apostle St Paul says in his letter to the Colossians “Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I complete what is lacking in Christ's sufferings for the sake of his body, that is, the church."(Colossians 1:24).
While St Francis of Assisi is commonly believed to be the first Saint to have been given the stigmata (on September 14, 1224), there are some scripture scholars who believe that St Paul himself may have been the first to have borne it, for in Galations 6:17 Paul himself states: "From now on let no one cause me trouble, for I bear on my body the marks of Jesus."
And furthermore, in the Acts of the Apostles we read: "...And God did extraordinary miracles by the hands of Paul, so that handkerchiefs or aprons were carried away from his body to the sick, and diseases left them and the evil spirits came out of them." (Acts 19:11)
It is suggested that these hankerchiefs were blood soaked from the wounds of Paul's stigmata. As most Catholics know, many in the church follow this practice today with the veneration of the relics of the Saints.

A modern case of the Stigmata
Certainly a very recent and probaly one of the best documented cases of the stigmata would be that of the Italian Saint Gemma Galgani (1878-1903) who also happens to be this writers favorite Saint! Gemma was an extraordinary saint who loved Jesus with all her heart and soul. At an early age she had an remarkable piety, and Jesus began giving her interior locutution at age 7. At age 20 she was miraculously cured of spinal meningitis through the heavenly intercession of another saint- Gabriel Possenti C.P.(who at that time was declared Venerable) who miraculously appeared to Gemma each night and encouraged her to make a Novena to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. One year later she was given the stigmata by Jesus in the prescence of the Blessed Virgin Mary and her guardian Angel

One day after Holy Communion, shortly after her miraculous cure, Jesus said to her: "Courage Gemma! I await you on Calvary on the Mount that I shall show you!"
The suffering through which she had passed during her illness had purified her soul, and the hour was approaching in which she would realize the nature of her vocation. It was June 8th, 1899, the vigil of the Feast of the Sacred Heart. That morning after Holy Communion Jesus revealed to her that in the evening of that day He would give her an extraordinary grace. She went at once to tell her confessor, and then confession to receive absolution, that she might be prepared as much as possible for what Jesus was to do next. Then, with her soul flooded with a wonderful sense of peace and joy, she returned home.

Gemma herself will relate what happened on this night:
"It was Thursday evening, the vigil of the Feast of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. Suddenly, more quickly indeed than usual, I felt a piercing sorrow for my sins; but so intense that I have never since experienced the like again. The sorrow was so great that I thought I must die. After that I felt all the powers of my soul in recollection. My intellect knew nothing except my sins and offences against God; my memory recalled each one, and made me see all the torments Jesus had endured to save me. My will moved me to detest them and be willing to suffer anything in expiation. A world of thoughts surged through my mind; thoughts of sorrow, love, fear, hope and encouragement.

"This was quickly followed by a rapture, and I found myself in the presence of my heavenly Mother, with my guardian angel on her right. He commanded me to make an act of contrition, and when I had done so my Mom said to me: 'Daughter, in the name of Jesus I forgive you all your sins,' and added, 'Jesus, my Son, loves you very much, and wishes to give you a grace. Would you know how to become worthy of it?'

In my misery I knew not what to answer. Then She continued: 'I will be a mother to you; will you show yourself a true daughter?' And after saying this She opened her mantle and covered me with it. At that instant Jesus appeared with all His wounds open; but blood no longer issued from those wounds, but flames of fire. In an instant those flames came and touched my hands, feet and heart. I felt I was dying and should have fallen had not my Mom held me up, I remaining all the while covered with her mantle, and thus I remained for several hours. Afterwards my Mom kissed me on the forehead, then everything vanished and I found myself kneeling on the ground, but still feeling intense pain in my hands, feet and heart. I got up to go to bed and saw blood flowing from those places where I felt the pain. I covered them up as best I could and then, with the help of my guardian angel, got into bed." [From the "Autobiography of St Gemma Galgani"]

This event took place on the first floor of a house numbered thirteen in the Via del Biscione in the parish of S. Pietro Somaldi, where Gemma was living with her family. "We point to this house with singular affection," writes her confessor, Venerable Father Germano, "because we believe one day it will be as memorable as La Verna, where St. Francis received the Stigmata."

The following morning Gemma arose early and, despite the intense pain she was enduring, went to church as usual to receive Holy Communion, putting on gloves to hide the wounds in her hands. She came home perplexed. How could she conceal what had happened to her? But perhaps it was nothing exceptional, but a gift bestowed by God on all who had consecrated themselves by vow to Him. What should she do? Finally she went to her aunt and said: "Aunt, just look at what Jesus has done to me!"

The aunt, although she had for some time felt there was something quite exceptional about Gemma, looked at her in amazement, and could not make out what had happened.
"The phenomenon always began in the way Gemma has herself described, and there is little to add to her account of it," says Ven. Father Germano, who further writes in his "Life of St Gemma Galgani": "...From that day it continued to repeat itself, on the same day and hour of each week, that is, from Thursday evening towards eight o'clock and continued till three o'clock on Friday afternoon. No preparation preceded it, no sense of pain or impression of any sort in those parts of the body announced that it was imminent, except the recollection of spirit which preceded the ecstasy.

"Scarcely had this begun when suddenly red marks appeared on the backs and palms of both hands, and under the epidermis a rent in the flesh opened by degrees, oblong on the back of the hands and irregularly round in the palms. A little after and the membrane itself was pierced, and on those innocent hands the flesh wounds were seen, about half an inch in diameter in the palms, and on the back of the hands about five-eighths of an inch long by one-eighth of an inch wide. [Here Ven. Father Germano remarks: "I greatly marvelled at the crescent form of this opening so unusual in other stigmatics until I read the life of the Venerable Diomira of Florence, who had a wound similar to that of Gemma, according to the sworn testimony of medical men, and other eye-witnesses."]

"Sometimes the laceration appeared only on the surface; at others it was scarcely perceptible to the naked eye, but more often was very deep, and ap¬peared to pass through the hand, the openings on both sides touching each other. I say seemed to pass, because these openings were full of blood, partly flowing and partly congealed and when the flow of blood ceased, they closed immediately .... In her feet, besides the wounds being large and livid around the edges, the size of the opening was the reverse of that of the hands, that is larger on the instep and smaller on the sole of the foot. Moreover, the wound on the instep of the right foot was as large as that on the sole of the left. Thus it would have been with our Saviour if both His feet had been fastened to the Cross by a single nail…

"Now we come to the wound in Gemma's side. It had the form of a half-moon in a horizontal direction, with the two ends turned upwards. Its length in a straight line was quite two inches, its width at the centre a quarter of an inch."
"The flow of blood from this wound was so abundant that her underclothing was saturated by it. The humble virgin did what she could to hide it by using manifold linen cloths, which she repeatedly applied to her side; in less than an hour they were saturated, and she hastened to conceal them so as to wash them in secret.'

Gemma herself describes her experience on one occasion thus: "This morning. . . I felt my senses leaving me. To the pain at my heart was added an acute anguish in all my members. Before all and above all was my sorrow for sin. What excruciating pain! Had it been greater I would have died, and I can say the same of the wound which I received. My heart could no longer bear the restraint, and began to send forth blood in abundance."

One of those who lived with Gemma declared upon oath that the blood from her side alone, unless it had been stopped, would have flowed down to the ground. The same can be said of the wounds in her hands and feet. Her spiritual director, Father Germano continues: "The blood was fresh, of a rich colour, such as flows from a newly opened wound, and so it remained, even after it had dried upon the skin, the clothing and the floor."

"The disappearance of the wounds was no less remarkable, for as soon as the ecstasy on Friday was over the flow of blood from all five wounds ceased, the raw flesh healed, and by the following day, or at latest by Sunday, not a trace of those wounds remained. Only the places where the wounds had been showed a whitish colour which indicated where they had been the day before." [From the "Life of St Gemma Galgani" by Venerable Father Germano, C.P.

These supernatural manifestations continued every Thursday and Friday, until prohibited by her directors, and after her death, although the stigmata had ceased for two years, these white marks were distinctly visible, especially upon her feet.

More notes on the stigmata in the lives of the Mystics of the Church:
Throughout the history of the Church there have been some souls who have received the invisible or "hidden" stigmata, and even moreso there have been numerous stigmatics who initially received the stigmata in a visible form, but in their great humility they asked God that it might become invisible (hidden), which at their request God granted in all the cases that I have read.

Additionally, most stigmatics do not have a permanent stigmata; for most the stigmata normally appears on Thursday evenings, and disappears on Friday afternoons, only to reappear again the following Thurday, although some, like St Padre Pio for example, bore the stigmata permanently (meaning he had the stigmata all the time--and in his case, it was 50 years and 3 days, until his holy death on September 23, 1968)

The invisible (or hidden) stigmata can be just as painful, or even more painful than the visible stigmata. In fact, the physical bleeding of the stigmata often seems to lessen the pain, so that for most visible stigmatics, the time prior to when the wounds completely open (on Thursday evenings) is most painful...then once the wounds open and the blood begins to flow, the pain often lessens somewhat.

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Saints Gifted with Supernatural Gift of Understanding Foreign Ancient Languages


Saints Gifted with Supernatural Gift of Understanding Foreign Ancient Languages

Gift of understanding foreign and ancient languages


The supernatural gift of understanding foreign and ancient languages

The extraordinary gift of understanding foreign languages, especially ancient Biblical languages has been given to numerous Saints, especially the Mystics. Most notably in recent times this gift was given to a remarkable 20th century mystic and stigmatic named Therese Neumann of Germany (1898-1962).


I will highlight Therese in this article, because her gift of understanding foreign and ancient biblical languages was studied by several language scholars and linguists.

During the ecstasies of the Passion in which Therese not only saw, but physically participated in in a mystical way, she heard the four languages which were in common use during the time of Christ: Latin, Hebrew, Greek and Aramaic; the Aramaic was spoken in a dialect mixed with Greek words. Therese recognized and repeated them after she returned to normal life. The fact that this humble country girl could master such languages is a miracle in itself. Therese had a seventh grade education and did not speak or understand any other language but German; to her personal friends she spoke in the dialect of the Oberpfalz, the particular region of Bavaria in which Konnersreuth is located.

Many eminent scholars of Oriental languages and of the Old Testament visited Therese in order to check the authenticity of Therese's knowledge of languages. Nevertheless, it was indeed difficult to find scholars who were qualified to interview Therese. It is not an exaggeration to say that in many instances she knew more about these ancient languages and many other details than the scholars did!
Some of the noted men who helped extensively in the verifi¬cation and clarification of the 2,OOO-year-old practices were:
Rev. Prof. Dr. Wutz (a priest), professor of Oriental languages and the Old Testament at Catholic College, Eichstatt, Bavaria; Prof. Bauer, of Halle, a non-Catholic expert in Oriental lan¬guages; and Prof. Wessely, of Vienna, a non-Christian, who was also a scholar of these languages. All of the results of their investigations were made public.

Dr. C. Wessely, the Vienna orientalist and papyrus expert, spoke of it at a meeting of the Leogesellschaft in the Austrian capital. He told how Dr. Gerlich, Dr. Wutz, and Dr. Johannes Bauer, professor of Semitic philology at the University of Halle, had observed and studied, each independently of the others, all the Aramaic material furnished by the stigmatist. The New Testament, composed in Greek, transmits only about sixteen Aramaic words, and even those in their adapted Grecian forms. Except for this, then, almost nothing was known of the language which was the customary one of Jesus and His neighbors; it was not Hebrew, as many have supposed. Dr. Wessely says: "It is a matter, doubtless, of correct Aramaic, as it was probably spoken in Christ's time. That fact of it being Aramaic is proved. From the grammatical viewpoint, Therese Newmann’s utterances are correct, without exception, and they are most noteworthy even in the strictest tests as to details.”

These well known scholars came to the conclusion-and they stated it categorically-that Therese's knowledge of these languages was absolutely correct, and that it was impossible for her knowledge to be explained by any falsehood or power of suggestion. Many other university professors who had similarly tested her came to the same conclusion. Dr. Prof. Wessely stated: "Therese Neumann's knowledge of Christ's own lan¬guage is a miracle in itself. I am amazed at her knowledge of Aramaic in particular. It is "Als etwas unerhortes-e-nocb nie dagewesenes. " (Something unheard of and inconceivable.)

Therese perfectly pronounced certain words in connection with the Passion. Judas greeted the Master with these words: "Schlama Rabbuni." (Greetings, Master.) The other Apostles became aware of the fact that Judas would betray the Master, and cried out in excitement: "Magera beisebua cannaba-magera beisebua." (A sword, down with the man of the devil, that thief.)
The executioners inquired after "Jeschua Nasarija" (Jesus of Nazareth), and Jesus answered ''Ana'' (I). Then He turned to His Apostles and said "Komu" (Up). The people cried out, "Ma hada?' , (What is the meaning of this?) Then later, Our Lord said, "Amen, Amen amarna lachbam atte emmib pardessa." (Amen, amen, I say to you, today thou shalt be with Me in Paradise.)
When Our Lord said, "It is consummated," Therese heard in Aramaic, "Schlem kalohi.' When He said the words, "Father, into Thy hands I commend My spirit," Therese heard "Abba be ada afkid ruchi." During the vision when Jesus was near the city of Nairn, raising a dead man back to life, He spoke first the word "Etphetach,' upon which the dead man opened his eyes and mouth. At the word "Kum," he raised himself from the stretcher.

The theory that Therese was able to read the minds of the various Oriental language scholars is disproven by the fact that she spoke the Aramaic sentences correctly to a degree which, at the time of her presentation to the experts, was not known to them. Furthermore, Therese used a contellation of Aramaic words, which no scholar expected, and yet she was entirely correct. In other words, Therese could not have read something from the minds of the learned men which did not exist in their minds.

In her visions of the saints, too, Therese was able to understand many different languages. The saints spoke in their native language, and yet Therese was able to understand them perfectly. There was never any language barrier with her. She always understood and repeated what was said, regardless of whether the saints were European, Asian, African or whatever.

In fact, Therese had hundreds of visions of saints during the year. On August 10, the Feast of St. Lawrence, St. Lawrence spoke to her in Latin. On the Feast of St. John the Evangelist, she heard St. John speak in Greek. When St. Therese of Lisieux appeared to her, she spoke in a French dialect that is used in the Pyrennees. St. Francis de Sales also spoke to her in French, while St. Anthony of Padua (who was born in Lisbon) spoke to her in Portuguese. St. Francis of Assisi spoke in Italian, and St. Teresa of Avila spoke Spanish. In the case of German saints, Therese would ordinarily understand it anyway, but the fact is that she then spoke a German accent that she normally did not speak-but she nevertheless repeated it perfectly.

As the years went by, the Saviour added a very special aspect to this gift by allowing Therese to hear the saints speak to her in her German dialect. This had also happened once on Pentecost Sunday, 1928, when she was bilocated to Rome and heard St. Peter giving a sermon in perfect German. After one of these visions Therese was reminded that Holy Scripture tells us that all those present on the first Pentecost, listening to St. Peter's sermon, heard it in their own native tongues!

And, speaking of the Blessed Virgin's apparition to Bernadette at Lourdes, which Therese saw in one of her visions, the words of the Blessed Virgin to St. Bernadette are heard not in Latin, nor in literary French or Spanish, but in the dialect of the Pyrenees, where the apparitions of Lourdes took place. Our Lady said: "Je suis la Conceptiune Immaculada:" ("I am the Immaculate Conception"). Therese's spiritual director, Father Naber, was unable to explain this, but while reading a book about Lourdes he learned that the words were in a form of speech prevalent in Southern France. The book gave the sentence exactly as Therese had heard it.

Therese was given many other remarkable mystical gifts, such as completely fasting without any food for over 30 years and living solely off the Eucharist, also the recognition of relics, blessed objects, priests and the Holy Eucharist, even when these items or persons where disguised or hidden to name just a few.

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Images of Son In Law Jokes


Funny Son in Law Jokes are really nice jokes that make you laugh madly. Read these Son in Law Jokes and share with your friends.

Vastreader Son in Law Jokes:

Man can be happy in 2 situations: 1st - if unmarried; 2nd - if wife has gone to his Father in Law's home.

Vastreader Son in Law Jokes:

Girl: Dad, I want to share one important thing with you.

Dad: Ok, tell me.

Girl: I am in love with a guy. He lives in U.S.A.
Dad: But where did you meet?
Girl: We met on a dating website.. become friend through social media, he proposed me on Skype..
then we chatted a lot on messaging app..
Father: oh really. Then you both can get married on twitter... go on honeymoon on travel site, get kids through shopping site, and receive them through gmail..
And moreover.....if you further feel your decision is wrong... sell it reseller website...

Vastreader Son in Law Jokes:

My Father in Law always told, "Don't watch your money; watch your health." So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my father in law.

Vastreader Son in Law Jokes:

Man: Why are beating your son in law so badly?
Father in Law replies: I sent him a message that you have become father but he forwarded this message to his friends!



Vastreader Son in Law Jokes:

Boss and Father in law can never be changed and come on same category..
If you give them your kidney, then also they will not be happy.

Son in Law Jokes
Son in Law Jokes

Vastreader Son in Law Jokes:

In marriage, Daughter of Father in Law runs and goes back to her room.
Father in Law stops her on the way and says: “please, do not go back, just go with your hubby.”
Daughter: “Please leave me alone …………………….  I am just going back to take my phone charger, it is gonna die!”

Vastreader Son in Law Jokes:

Once a husband questioned his wife, "Would you have married me, if my father hadn't left me any fortune?"
"Dear hubby, I'd have married you... NO Matter who left you a fortune!" She replied softly.

Vastreader Son in Law Jokes:

Daughter in Law and father  in law:
Once, a father in law of a teenage daughter in law was concerned because his daughter in law spend too much time on phone; and nobody else in house could use the that line. So, father in law  got a solution, father in law  had a new telephone line installed for daughter in law.


Two or three days after daughter in law telephone had been installed, father in law  came home to find daughter in law stretched out on the floor with her feet on the living room couch and chatting away on the family telephone.Daughter in law’s own telephone was resting silently on daughter in law’s dresser. "Why are you using our telephone," father in law yelled. "Why aren't you talking on your own telephone?"


"I can't," daughter in law  said, "I'm expecting an important call on my phone."

Vastreader Son in Law Jokes:

Peace and piece:

Father in law is a man who destroys his son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of him.

Vastreader Son in Law Jokes:

Come on - Lets see the world through a wife's eyes:

World's most perfect Man - Her Father!
World's most beautiful woman - Her Mother!
World's most Intelligent female - She herself!
World's most sad husband - Her Brother!
World's most Handsome boy - Her Son!
World's most luckiest man - Her sister's husband!
World’s most Unintelligent Male – Her Father in Law!
World's most mad woman - Her Mother in Law!
World's most dumb, selfish, liar, miser and useless man - ........ Should we need to tell this??? :(

Vastreader Son in Law Jokes:

Save Mother in law:

A big game hunter went on a safari with his wife and Father in Law. One evening, his wife awoke to find her father gone. She woke up her husband and the two of them prepared to go outside and search for her father. The hunter picked up his gun, and they were ready to go. Not far from the camp, they came upon a frightening sight: the Father in Las was pinned against thick, impassable bush, while a huge lion growling menacingly just inches from his face. The wife yelled in fear, “What are we going to do?” “Don’t worry about it dear,” said the husband. “The lion can take care of himself”


Vastreader Son in Law Jokes:

My Father In Law an angel:

Two friends were talking. One says to the other, “My Father In Law, he’s an angel.” His friend replies, “You’re lucky. Mine’s alive.”

Vastreader Son in Law Jokes:

A cannibal was constantly disagreeing with his father in as. One day, he had enough and ate him. That night he woke up with a terrible stomach ache. Seems he still disagreed with him.

Vastreader Son in Law Jokes:

Joke About Staying At father In Laws House:

Question to Son in Law: What would you do if you knew the world was going to end in 2 weeks?
Answer by Son in Law: I will go and visit my father in Las for 2 weeks.
Question to Son in Law: Why your father in law’s home?
Answer by Son in Law: They would be the longest 2 weeks in my life!

Vastreader Son in Law Jokes:

Peeping Tom father In Law Joke:

Last night, the local Peeping Tom knocked at my father-in-laws’ door, and asked him to shut his blinds.

Vastreader Son in Law Jokes:

Buried my father In Law Joke:

One Son in Law meets his friend on the street.  The friend says, “Hi Friend, where are you coming from? ” The Son in Law says, “The cemetery. We just buried my father in law.” “I’m sorry, that’s terrible” says the friend. “What happened to your face, you’re all scratched up?” “He put up a hell of a fight.” Son in Law answered.

Vastreader Son in Law Jokes:

Nice fathers In Law Joke:

Question to Son in Law:  Why do they bury fathers-in-law 18 feet down, when everyone else is buried 6 feet down?
Answer by Son in Law:  Because, deep down, they really are very nice people.

Vastreader Son in Law Jokes:

The True father in law Joke:

Two men ran into the court of King Solomon.
“My daughter is to marry this man, but this man claims that his daughter is already engaged to get married to him!” one of them yelled.
The king stroked his beard and sat in deep thought.
Finally the King spoke. “The man shall be cut in two and each of your daughters shall have him.”
“Very well!” said the first man.
“No, don’t, I would rather let the other girl marry him than have him cut in two!” exclaimed the second man.
The King pronounced. “The first man is the true father in law.”
“What?” objected the other. “He wanted him cut in two!”
“Indeed.” said the king. “He is a Father in law!”

Vastreader Son in Law Jokes:

Warranty Expired: Manufacturer are not Responsible:

An angry Son in Law sends SMS to his father in law:

"Your product is not matching my requirements. Please, Take back your Product.”

Smart father in law replies in SMS:
"Warranty expired! Manufacturer are not responsible for the Product."



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Jokes for Your Brother In Law on His Birthday


Jokes for Your Brother In Law on His Birthday

Jokes for Your Brother In Law on His Birthday:

Peace and piece:

Mother-in-law is a woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.

Jokes for Your Brother In Law on His Birthday:

Come on - Lets see the world through a wife's eyes:

World's most perfect Man - Her Father!
World's most beautiful woman - Her Mother!
World's most Intelligent female - She herself!
World's most sad husband - Her Brother!
World's most Handsome boy - Her Son!
World's most luckiest man - Her sister's husband!
World's most mad woman - Her Mother in Law!
World's most dumb, selfish, liar, miser and useless man - ........ Should we need to tell this??? :(

Jokes for Your Brother In Law on His Birthday:

Save Mother in law:

A big game hunter went on a safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, his wife awoke to find her mother gone. She woke up her husband and the two of them prepared to go outside and search for her mother. The hunter picked up his gun, and they were ready to go. Not far from the camp, they came upon a frightening sight: the mother-in-law was pinned against thick, impassable bush, while a huge lion growling menacingly just inches from her face. The wife yelled in fear, “What are we going to do?” “Don’t worry about it dear,” said the husband. “The lion can take care of himself”

Jokes for Your Brother In Law on His Birthday
Jokes for Your Brother In Law on His Birthday


Jokes for Your Brother In Law on His Birthday:

Two friends were talking. One says to the other, “My Mother-In-Law, she’s an angel.” His friend replies, “You’re lucky. Mine’s alive.”

Funny In-Law Jokes:

A cannibal was constantly disagreeing with his mother-in-law. One day he had enough and ate her. That night he woke up with a terrible stomach ache. Seems she still disagreed with him.

Funny In-Law Jokes:

Joke About Staying At Mother-In-Laws House:

Question to Son in Law: What would you do if you knew the world was going to end in 2 weeks?
Answer by Son in Law: Go visit my mother-in-laws for 2 weeks.
Question to Son in Law: Why your mother-in-laws home?
Answer by Son in Law: They would be the longest 2 weeks in my life!

Funny In-Law Jokes:

Peeping Tom Mother-In-Law Joke:

Last night the local Peeping Tom knocked on my mother-in-laws’ door, and asked her to shut her blinds.

Funny In-Law Jokes:

Buried my Mother-In-Law Joke:

One Son in Law meets his friend on the street.  The friend says, “Hi Friend, where are you coming from? ” The Son in Law says, “The cemetery. We just buried my Mother-In-Law.” “I’m sorry, that’s terrible” says the friend. “What happened to your face, you’re all scratched up?” “She put up a hell of a fight.” Son in Law answered.

Funny In-Law Jokes:

Nice Mothers-In-Laws Joke:

Question to Son in Law:  Why do they bury mothers-in-law 18 feet down, when everyone else is buried 6 feet down?
Answer by Son in Law:  Because, deep down, they really are very nice people.

Funny In-Law Jokes:

The True Mother-in-law Joke:

Two ladies ran into the court of King Solomon.
“My daughter is to marry this man, but this lady claims that her daughter is already engaged to get married to him!” one of them yelled.
The king stroked his beard and sat in deep thought.
Finally the King spoke. “The man shall be cut in two and each of your daughters shall have him.”
“Very well!” said the first lady.
“No, don’t, I would rather let the other girl marry him than have him cut in two!” exclaimed the second lady.
The King pronounced. “The first lady is the true mother-in-law.”
“What?” objected the other. “She wanted him cut in two!”
“Indeed.” said the king. “She is a mother-in-law!”

Really Funny Jokes Collection - Vastreader

Wife: I’m warning you, my Mummy is coming back soon..
Husband: But I’m not doing anything..
wife: That’s why I’m warning you, Hurry up.

Really Funny Jokes Collection - Vastreader

Bother in law: This is the 5th movie ticket you’ve bought tonight, Why?..
Uncle: Yes, that Idiot at the entrance keeps tearing it.


Really Funny Jokes Collection - Vastreader

TEACHER: What’s your favorite flower?..
Student: Chrysanthemum.. 
TEACHER: Spell it..
Student: I was joking ooh. My favorite flower is Rose: R-O-S-E


Really Funny Jokes Collection - Vastreader

Two Girls were sitting at a club. One was ugly and the other one was beautiful. Brother in law walked straight to the ugly girl.
Brother in law: Hello!
Ugly girl: Hi!!
Brother in law: Wanna dance?
Ugly Girl: Yes (excited)
Brother in law: OK, Go and dance, I want to talk to your friend.

Really Funny Jokes Collection (Must Read Jokes) - Vastreader
Really Funny Jokes Collection (Must Read Jokes) - Vastreader

Really Funny Jokes Collection - Vastreader

Father: My pikin say you drive an commot for school, Wetin he do?
Teacher:- Your son is not brilliant at all, he cant even spell “LION” …
Father: Ah Ah…You know say SMALL pikin……
You make him to spell SMALL ANIMAL like “MOSQUITO”…


Really Funny Jokes Collection - Vastreader

Man: Why are all these people running ? ?
Racer: Its a competition, the winner will be given a phone. .
Man: What a pity. Why are they are all running if they know that only one person will get the phone.


Really Funny Jokes Collection - Vastreader

Teacher. . . If You have 5 Naira and U ask ur Dad for another 5 Naira , how much will you have?
Student: 5 Naira
Teacher: You don’t know maths
Student: You dont know my fada.


Really Funny Jokes Collection - Vastreader

Senator: Hey, Youngman! I heard that you are the idiot that disvirgined my only Daughter.
Convict: Oga sori, it won’t happen again. .


Really Funny Jokes Collection - Vastreader

Lover (female): Please leave; you cant date me because you are not responsible. .
Lover (male): Hahaha, who told you that dat. in my area, when any girl gets pregnant, she says I’m responsible.


Really Funny Jokes Collection - Vastreader

father-in-law: Young man, you coming to seek my daughter’s hand in marriage and you are chewing gum. That’s a sign of disrespect!
Man: Sir, I only chew gum when I drink or smoke.
father-in-law: You mean u drink & smoke and you are here to seek my daughter’s hand in marriage?
Man: Sir I only drink & smoke when I go to the club.
father-in-law: U club too?
Man: I’m sorry sir, I started clubbing whenI came out of prison.
father-in-law:- U’ve also been in prison before? Oh my God!
Man: Sorry sir, I went to jail when I killed somebody!,
father-in-law:- What!!! U’re a killer
Man: Sir, it happened out of anger. It was a certain man that didn’t allow me marry his daughter so I killed him.
father-in-law: You are highly welcome my son. U are on the right track. U are absolutely the right man for my daughter.


Really Funny Jokes Collection - Vastreader

Husband: I called you DARLING and you called me HONEY. Indirectly, you’re calling my mother a BEE. No respect for in-law. Pack your bags. It's over!!!!


Really Funny Jokes Collection - Vastreader

Wife: I’m warning you, my Mummy is coming back soon.
Husband: But I’m not doing anything..
wife: That’s why I’m warning you, Hurry up.


Really Funny Jokes Collection - Vastreader

CASHIER: This is the 5th movie ticket you’ve bought tonight Sir, Why?..
Man: Yes, that Idiot at the entrance keeps tearing it


Really Funny Jokes Collection - Vastreader

TEACHER: What’s your favorite flower?..
Student: Chrysanthemum.. 
TEACHER: Spell it..
Student: I was joking ooh. My favorite flower is Rose: R-O-S-E


Really Funny Jokes Collection - Vastreader

Two Girls were sitting at a club. One was ugly and the other one was beautiful. Brother in law 

walked straight to the ugly girl.
Brother in law: Hello!
Ugly girl: Hi!!
Brother in law: Wanna dance?
Ugly Girl: Yes (excited)
Brother in law: OK, Go and dance, I want to talk to your friend.


Really Funny Jokes Collection - Vastreader

Father: My pikin say you drive an commot for school, Wetin he do?
Teacher:- Your son is not brilliant at all, he cant even spell “LION” …
Father: Ah Ah…You know say SMALL pikin……
You make him to spell SMALL ANIMAL like “MOSQUITO”…

Really Funny Jokes Collection - Vastreader

Man: Why are all these people running ? ?
Racer: Its a competition, the winner will be given a phone. .
Man: What a pity. Why are they are all running if they know that only one person will get the phone.

Really Funny Jokes Collection - Vastreader

Teacher. . . If You have 5 Naira and U ask ur Dad for another 5 Naira , how much will you have?
Student: 5 Naira
Teacher: You don’t know maths
Student: You dont know my fada.

Really Funny Jokes Collection - Vastreader

Senator: Hey, Youngman! I heard that you are the idiot that disvirgined my only Daughter.
Convict: Oga sori, it won’t happen again. .

Really Funny Jokes Collection - Vastreader

Lover (female): Please leave; you cant date me because you are not responsible. .
Lover (male): Hahaha, who told you that dat. in my area, when any girl gets pregnant, she says I’m responsible.

Really Funny Jokes Collection - Vastreader

father-in-law: Young man, you coming to seek my daughter’s hand in marriage and you are chewing gum. That’s a sign of disrespect!
Man: Sir, I only chew gum when I drink or smoke.
father-in-law: You mean u drink & smoke and you are here to seek my daughter’s hand in marriage?
Man: Sir I only drink & smoke when I go to the club.
father-in-law: U club too?
Man: I’m sorry sir, I started clubbing whenI came out of prison.
father-in-law:- U’ve also been in prison before? Oh my God!
Man: Sorry sir, I went to jail when I killed somebody!,
father-in-law:- What!!! U’re a killer
Man: Sir, it happened out of anger. It was a certain man that didn’t allow me marry his daughter so I killed him.
father-in-law: You are highly welcome my son. U are on the right track. U are absolutely the right man for my daughter.

Really Funny Jokes Collection - Vastreader

Husband: I called you DARLING and you called me HONEY. Indirectly, you’re calling my mother a BEE. No respect for in-law. Pack your bags. It's over!!!!

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