Sexy Husband Wife Jokes







Sexy Husband Wife Jokes:

Sexy Husband Wife Jokes:

I just lost the prize by 1 point. That last question was, "Where do females mostly have curly hair"?
I was confident that I was correct, but that mad computer replied "Africa".

Sexy Husband Wife Jokes:

Couple started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 11 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flash light!” The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past 7 minutes!"

Sexy Husband Wife Jokes:

As an Air plane is about to crash, a sexy female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!”

Sexy Husband Wife Jokes:

A Boy and a Girl were enjoying a lot in an open garden!!!

Suddenly, a mosquito went into the girl's T-shirt....

Naughty mind ... don't think too much....


It came out and bit the boy's hands!!!!

Sexy Funny Story

Sexy Husband Wife Jokes:

A Boy and a Girl were enjoying a lot in a theater!!!

Suddenly, the Girl felt something like snake going into her pants....


Do you know what that is?

Naughty mind ... don't think too much....

It is the boy's hands!!!!


Sexy Husband Wife Jokes:

A Boy moves into a colony where people don't wear clothes. He receives a letter from his girl friend asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new place. Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in that colony, he cuts a photo in half and sends her the top half.

Later, he receives another letter asking him to send a picture to his girl friend. The man cuts another picture in half, but accidentally sends the bottom half of the photo. He is really worried, when he realizes that he sent the wrong half, but then remembers how bad his girl friend's eyesight is, and hopes she won't notice.

A few weeks later, he receives a letter from his girl friend. It says... "Thank you for the picture. Change your hair style; it makes your nose look too short!"


Sexy Husband Wife Jokes:

A blonde walked in on her husband having an affair. She was so angry she pulled out a gun and pointed to the woman's head. She was about to pull the trigger, when her husband said, "No, doing!" and she replied, "Shut up, you're next!"

Sexy Husband Wife Jokes:

Man comes home from work, walks into his bedroom, and finds a stranger with his wife. He says, "What the hell are you doing?" His wife turns to the stranger and says, "I told you. Do you remember that he is stupid?"

Sexy Husband Wife Jokes:

One day a sexy girl was talking to her friend and she said to her, "My boyfriend bought me flowers for my special day this year so I guess I have to put my legs in the air for him.", and her friend replied, "Why? Don't you have a vase?"

Sexy Husband Wife Jokes:

Here's the Perfect scene of Good/Bad Luck at same time?
The clever wind blows a sexy girl's skirt high (Good Luck)
But on that moment dust falls into the boy's eyes (Bad Luck)

Sexy Husband Wife Jokes:

Just married couple after first night!
Husband: Let me be frank - It is not my first time.
Wife: Well. Let me also clear that you still need to learn a lot.

Sexy Husband Wife Jokes:

His sister was with two men at one night. She could hardly walk after that. Can you imagine? Two dinners!

Sexy Husband Wife Jokes:

Me: Do you have a book for men with small his thing?
Librarian: I don't know if it's in yet.
Me: Yeah that's the one.


Sexy Husband Wife Jokes:

Do you know about 7 important most important Men in a Woman's life? No, then here we go:
One. Mr. Doctor - who tells her to "take off all her clothes."
Two. Mr. Dentist - who tells her to "open wide."
Three. That Milkman - who asks her "do you want it in the front or the back?"
Four. The Hairdresser - who asks her "do you want it teased or blown?"
Five. The Interior Designer - who assures her "once it's inside, you'll LOVE it!"
Six. The Banker - who insists to her "if you take it out too soon, you'll lose interest!"
Seven. The Primal Hunter - who always goes deep into the bush, always shoots twice, always eats what he shoots, but keeps telling her "Keep quiet and lie still!"

Sexy Husband Wife Jokes:

Male in the club Orders a Beer...
Female next To Him-
What A Co-incidence, Even I have ordered the same...
Man-I'm so happy.
Female-Me too.
Man-What a Coincidence.
Lady-My Husband & I Have Tried 4Yrs for A Baby...
Today I'm Pregnant.
Man-What a Co-Incidence.
I Am a Farmer
From 4Yrs My Hens Were Infertile,
Today All Laying Eggs
Lady-Wow! How Did That Happen?
Man- I Used a Different Cock.
Lady SMILED, & Said
WHAT A COINCIDENCE!!

Sexy Husband Wife Jokes:

One day, a 7 year old boy went to visit his grandmother. Playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting, he looked up and said: "Grandma, why don't you have a boyfriend now that grandpa went to heaven?"
Grandma replied: "Honey, my TV-set is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day long. The religious programs make me feel good and the comedies make me laugh. I'm happy with it as my boyfriend."
Grandma turned on the TV-set, and the reception was terrible. She started adjusting knobs, trying to get it focus.
Frustrated, she started hitting the backside of the TV hoping to fix the problem.
The little boy heard the doorbell ring, so he hurried to open the door, and there stood his grandpa's old friend, now the grandma's minister.
The minister said: "Hello, son, is your Grandma home?"
The little boy replied: "Yeah, she's in the bedroom banging her boyfriend!"

Sexy Husband Wife Jokes:

Husband: I am feeling so happy while seeing your friend.
Wife: Yeah, I can see your happiness through your jeans.

Sexy Husband Wife Jokes:

One day, little Sam was at the park playing when he saw his dad and aunt walk behind the bushes.
He followed them quietly.
What he saw surprised him a lot. Sam ran home and told his Mother... Guess what I saw today!
"How should I know" Mom replied.
"You know, dad and aunt went into the bushes and aunt took off dad's jacket and then..."
"Stop, it is better you to wait until you daddy gets back to home and we have dinner to finish your story?" mom said.
"Fine" said Sam.
And when they were all having dinner, Sam started...
"And then Dad did to Aunt what Uncle did to Mom while Dad was out...."

Sexy Husband Wife Jokes:

Husband comes home from a tough time of work and finds his wife lying in front of the fire place with her legs wide open.
He asked, "Dear, what are you doing?"
She replied, "I'm heating up your dinner."

Sexy Husband Wife Jokes:

Shopkeeper: Stop! You can't smoke here.
Me: But I bought it from your shop.
Shopkeeper: We also sell condoms but that doesn't mean... but you don't use them here!

Sexy Husband Wife Jokes:

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Neelam (Age 28) was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, “Boy, what is
Your problem?"
Boy answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than her! I think I
should be in the third-grade too!"
Ms Neelam had enough. She took Boy. to the Principal's office. While Boy. waited in the outer office, the teacher
explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms Neelam he would give the boy a test and if he
failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. She agreed.
Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Boy: "9".
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Boy: "36".
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at Ms Neelam and
tells her, "I think this Boy can go to the third-grade."
Ms Neelam says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions. Can I ask him?" The principal and Boy both agreed.
Ms Neelam asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
Boy, after a moment "Legs."
Ms Neelam: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
Boy: "Pockets."
Ms Neelam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Boy: Coconut
Ms Neelam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky? The Principal's eyes open really wide and before he
could stop the answer, Boy. was taking charge.
Boy: Bubblegum
Ms Neelam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs? The Principal's eyes
open really wide and before he could stop the answer...
Boy: Shake hands
Ms Neelam: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?
Boy: Yep.
Ms Neelam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.
Boy: Tent
Ms Neelam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. The Principal was
looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.
Boy: Wedding Ring
Ms Neelam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Boy: Nose
Ms Neelam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Boy. Arrow
Ms Neelam: What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement?
Boy: Fire truck
Ms Neelam: What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' & if you don't get it you have to use your hand.
Boy: Fork
Ms Neelam: What is it that all men have one of its longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man  
gives it to his wife after they're married?
Boy: SURNAME
Ms Neelam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making
Love?
Boy: HEART
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,
"Send this Boy to IIM Ahmadabad, even I got the last ten questions wrong myself!!”  


Woman went to her doctor complaining her husband don’t have Tim for sex and does not satisfy her in bed. The doctor gave her a liquid instructing her to add some few drops of the liquid in husband’s tea. the following the woman did as instructed and had a wonderful sex with her husband. the following morning she add a bit more and her husband made her to squirt in bed  that night. Again she put the whole liquid the next morning. After 2 weeks the doctor called to know the results of the drug but the lady's child picked the phone and said "mum is in hospital, my brother has ran out of the house, I’m bleeding in my ass, our housemaid is filling a rape law suit against my dad, my sister died from rape by my dad!!! the worst part is that even our dogs are on the run and my dad is chasing them shouting BINGO!! BINGO!! BINGO!! COME TO DADDY" the doctor fainted.


Very Worst Dirty Jokes Do not Read Do not Read Do not Read
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.” After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands Unclad in front of Bob.

After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks,…

“Who was that?” “It was Bob the next door neighbor,” she replies. “Great!” the husband says, “Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?”


Very Worst Dirty Jokes Do not Read Do not Read Do not Read
A man offered a lift to a lady. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The man nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The lady said,” man, remember Psalm 129?” The man removed his hand. But,changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The lady once again said, “man, remember Psalm 129?” The man apologized “Sorry lady but the flesh is weak.” Arriving at the home, the lady went on her way. On his arrival at home, the man rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, “Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.”

Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.


Very Worst Dirty Jokes Do not Read Do not Read Do not Read
Very Worst Dirty Jokes Do not Read Do not Read Do not Read


Very Worst Dirty Jokes Do not Read Do not Read Do not Read
A soldier was given a three-day leave to attend to his newly wedded wife but on getting home, he realised that his wife was in her menstrual period. So he decided to send a telegram to his
headquarter to extend his leave but with his mother-in-law and other visitors around, he
decided to code his message in the military way. This is what followed;

SOLDIER: Omega one, this is omega twelve, danger signal from the field, red alert in front,
extend leave. Do you read me?! Red alert in front, extend leave.

HEADQUARTERS: Omega twelve, this is omega one, I read you loud and clear! Attack from the
back, resume immediately! I repeat, attack from the back, resume immediately


Very Worst Dirty Jokes Do not Read Do not Read Do not Read
Husband: I called you DARLING and you called me HONEY. Indirectly, you’re calling your mother in law a BEE. No respect for Mother in law. Pack your bags. It's over!!!!


Very Worst Dirty Jokes Do not Read Do not Read Do not Read
My mother-in-law visited me and my wife but coincidentally, that day my wife was feeling for sex and she did not want to whisper to me since i was busy sharing stories with her mother. My wife tricked me by pretending she has headache and went straight to the bedroom. After some minutes, I followed her leaving her mother in the sitting room. I took some time there, but when I came back I had forgotten to close my zip. mother-in-law: How is she feeling now?
Me: She is now feeling better, I have given her paracetamol.
mother-in-law: OK, close the pharmacy......


Very Worst Dirty Jokes Do not Read Do not Read Do not Read
A mother in law ask her son's wife: Why is it that all the children don't resemble their father? 
Silly Wife: What I have in between my leg is a reproductive system, not a photocopying machine.


Very Worst Dirty Jokes Do not Read Do not Read Do not Read
Pedro's wedding: 
Pedro was getting married and on the day of the wedding, his Mother in las pulled him aside and said to him "Tonight you must prove yourself a man, so go and do it many times with your wife". "Ok" replied Pedro and off he went.

The next day his mother in law pulled him aside again and asked how many times Pedro had done it. "2 times" said Pedro. His mother in law looked at him and almost cried. "aaaaaawwww Pedro, you must go tonight and make it many more times. "OK" said Pedro and off she went.

Next day, Pedro's mother in law pulled him aside again and asked how many times he could do it. "5 times" said Pedro. His mother in law looked at him and almost cried. "NO NO NO, Pedro you must go tonight and make it many more times. "OK" said Pedro and of she went.

The day after Pedro's mother in law pulled him aside and asked " now, how many times could you do it tonight". "22 times" said Pedro. "WHAT!!!!, how could you do that" said his mother in las. Pedro showing the doggy-style-movement "like this, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9...................

Very Worst Dirty Jokes Do not Read Do not Read Do not Read
Very Worst Dirty Jokes Do not Read Do not Read Do not Read


Very Worst Dirty Jokes Do not Read Do not Read Do not Read
A couple of weeks before my wedding my mother in law asked me to come over and help her with some things around the house. Wanting to make a good impression I went over right away only to find her waiting for me in her sexiest neglige. She said that she found me very attractive and that if I wanted to, I should meet her in the bedroom for the best sex of my life, and if not I knew where the front door was.

My Mother in Law is an extremely beautiful and sexy woman, so I paused for a few seconds before turning to go out the front door. Much to my surprise, when I got to my car my father  in law and brother-in-law were leaning against my car. They said the were sorry for their little test but they wanted to make sure that I was the kind of man that would never cheat on my wife.

Now, the question is.... Do I continue on and marry this girl after this offensive display?

Or do I tell them the truth? That I was getting the condoms from my glove box!


Very Worst Dirty Jokes Do not Read Do not Read Do not Read
A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a large empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, rocks about 2" in diameter. He then asked the students if the jar was full? They agreed that it was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He then asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous yes.

The professor then produced two cans of beer from under the table and proceeded to pour their entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty spaces in the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.

The rocks are the important things - your family, your partner, your health, your children--things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else. The small stuff."

"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal. Take care of the rocks first --the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer represented.

The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of beers."


Very Worst Dirty Jokes Do not Read Do not Read Do not Read

A lady walked into a pet shop, demanding for a
parrot.
The owner: “We have 2 kinds: one repeats
everything you say & the other thinks for itself!”
“I think I’ll like the one that thinks for itself”,
replied the lady.
The owner brought out her choice & told her to
quiz the parrot.
“How do I look?”, asked the lady.
“Like a prostitute!” replied the parrot.
“This parrot is rude: I won’t buy it!”, said the
lady.
“Pls give me a moment!”, replied the owner as he
walked towards the backyard with the parrot.
He dipped the parrot into a bucket full of water &
warned the parrot: “If u are rude to that lady one
more time I will drown u in this bucket!”
When the man came back to the counter he told
the lady: “Now ask the parrot anything you wish
and I assure that he will be polite”
CONVERSATION
Lady: “if I come home @ night with a man,
what’ll you call this man?”
Parrot: “Your husband!”
Lady: “Good! What if I come home with 2 men?”
Parrot: “Your husband & your in-law!
Lady: “Good! Good!! What if I come home with 3
men?”
Parrot: “Your husband, your in-law & your
brother!”
Lady: “Gooood! What if I come home with 4
men?”
The parrot looked back at the owner & said: “Pls
go & drown me; I said it earlier that this woman
is a prostitute!”

Tagged in: 
Sexy Husband Wife Joke, Sexy Husband Wife Joke, Sexy Husband Wife Joke, Sexy Husband Wife Joke, Sexy Husband Wife Joke, Sexy Husband Wife Joke, Sexy Husband Wife Joke, the Joke, a Joke, Jokes, Funny Joke, Joke of Day, best Joke, Killing Joke, Funny Jokes, Funniest Joke, the Killing Joke, Black Joke, Joke Quotes, bad Joke, sms Joke, good Joke, Love Joke, funny, knock knock Jokes, kids Jokes, mama Jokes, best Jokes, Jokes for Kids, the Jokes, a Jokes, Jokes, Funny Jokes, Jokes of Day, best Jokes, Killing Jokes, Funny Jokes, Funniest Jokes, the Killing Jokes, Black Jokes, Jokes Quotes, bad Jokes, sms Jokes, good Jokes, Love Jokes, funny, knock knock Jokes, kids Jokes, mama Jokes, best Jokes, Jokes for Kids, Jokes Funny, a Funny Joke, a Joke, Funny Joke Quotes, Joke Quotes, Short Funny Joke, Funny Joke Pictures, Joke Pictures, Funny Sms Joke, Funniest Joke, Jokes Funny, a Funny Jokes, a Jokes, Funny Jokes Quotes, Jokes Quotes, Short Funny Jokes, Funny Jokes Pictures, Jokes Pictures, Funny Sms Jokes, Funniest Jokes, Jokes Funny, a Funny Joke, a Joke, Funny Joke Quotes, Joke Quotes, Short Funny Joke, Funny Joke Pictures, Joke Pictures, Funny Sms Joke, Funniest Joke, Jokes Funny, a Funny Jokes, a Jokes, Funny Jokes Quotes, Jokes Quotes, Short Funny Jokes, Funny Jokes Pictures, Jokes Pictures, Funny Sms Jokes, Funniest Jokes






Vastreader's mission is to help people live well, and we really hope this article helped you. Now you are helping others, just by visiting Vastreader.

Vastreader helps the needy in preventive and supportive ways. We support the poor by providing food, cloth, shelter and medical treatment. We prevent them from sickness by speading awareness on various issues. We also help them by educating.

Comment below to let us know you read this article, and vastreader will donate on your behalf. Thanks for helping us achieve our mission of helping people. Live Long and Live Well. Join us.

You can use these comment: (Just copy and post it in comment box)
Yes, I have read this article.
No, I have not read this article.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

"Answer Questions or Ask a Question" Therere

Keywords for Writing Blog Posts

Funny Brother in Law Jokes Humours One Liners

Real Life Incident: Mother Teresa Gets Saliva from Shop Keeper

English Rhyme: ABCDEFG HIJKLMOPQRST UVWXYZ XYZ Sugar on the Bread Lyrics

Funny Son in Law Jokes

Great Online Tool "Answer Questions or Ask a Question"

Miraculous Cures in the lives of the Saints: Miracles of Saints

English Rhyme: All Men Lucky Men Lucky Number One Rhyme Lyrics Poem Lyrics

Vastreader.blogspot.com’s Worth